George Carlin: George O'Grady

Quotes 

• George O'Grady : [about his friend wearing cowboy boots]  The closest you ever got to a cow was when you stopped to take a wiz at a Dairy Queen.

• [after a woman drops some of her groceries on the street] 

  George O'Grady : Hey, lady, you dropped some of your stuff.

• [George is offering to drive Beck to Connecticut] 

  Dr. Neil Beck : You drive a cab?

  George O'Grady : People are always so surprised to hear that. Either they think it's a tragic waste of potential, or they can't believe I'm allowed to operate a big machine.

  Dr. Neil Beck : Well, for me, it's a little of both.

  George O'Grady : Really?

  Dr. Neil Beck : [sheepishly]  No, it's mostly the machine thing.

• Dr. Neil Beck : There's nothing in life more awkward than obligatory conversation with hair stylists and cab drivers. No offense.

  George O'Grady : Yeah, thanks. Well, no offense, but there's nothing I find more awkward than humoring a schmuck.

• George O'Grady : [about a book George is interested in]  Look at this title: "You Picked Me Up, Now Put Me Down."

  Henry Nsnjama : Yes, well, George, I take care of my steady customers. For you, I look out for UFOs, conspiracy theories, and cattle mutilations.

  George O'Grady : God, I love those cattle mutilations, Henry. Listen, I'm a little short of cash. You want to hang onto this for me, please?

  Henry Nsnjama : Oh, yes, George, I will try. But I can't make any promises. You are not the only nut in town, you know.

  George O'Grady : Maybe not, but I'm in the top three.