WandaVision (TV Mini Series)
Don't Touch That Dial (2021)
Paul Bettany: Vision
Photos
Quotes
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Wanda Maximoff : What do you see?
Vision : Only your lovely rose bushes.
Wanda Maximoff : That's all? Are you using your night vision, Vision?
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Vision : Now my wife and I will delight in your dumbstruck little faces.
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[repeated line]
Vision : Flourish!
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Phil Jones : Vision, you're a real cut-out.
Norm : I always thought you were kind of a square.
Vision : Me? No, I'm as a round as they come.
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Wanda Maximoff : I don't know what I was so worried about. It wasn't so hard to fit in after all.
Vision : And all we had to do was be ourselves.
Wanda Maximoff : Well, with a few modifications.
Vision : And it was all...
Vision , Wanda Maximoff : For the children.
Wanda Maximoff : Well, I think the children might need some popcorn.
Vision : Wanda.
Wanda Maximoff : Hmm, what?
[realizing she's pregnant]
Wanda Maximoff : Vision... is this really happening?
Vision : Yes, my love. It's really happening.
[hearing a thudding outside]
Vision : If it's that damn tree again, I am going to rip it out by the roots!
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Vision : Today, we will lie to you and yet you will believe our little deceptions because human beings are easily fooled due to their limited understanding of the inner workings of the universe.
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Vision : Darling, do all the other acts in the talent show have such elaborate props?
Wanda Maximoff : Are you kidding? Fred and Linda are building a moat and a fully-functional portcullis and no one even knows why.
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Wanda Maximoff : [practicing their talent-show magic act] Wanda, you're not at all worried that the audience might just see through this little charade?
Wanda Maximoff : Well, that's the whole point. In a real magic act, everything is fake. Darling, the talent show fundraiser is the most important event of the season, and it's our neighborly duty to participate. Plus, it's our chance to appear as normal as possible while doing so.
Vision : Well, I don't think that should be a problem.
Wanda Maximoff : This is our home now. I want us to fit in.
Vision : Oh, darling, we do. We shall. And we're gonna knock their socks off, especially with you wearing this.
Wanda Maximoff : [he holds up her sequined outfit] Oh, that's actually the rest of your costume.
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Geraldine : I have to ask.
Vision : Hmm.
Geraldine : One second, I'm backstage and in the next, I'm in a dark cubby hole. How'd you do it?
Vision : Oh, a magician never reveals his secrets. He leaves that to his assistant.
Wanda Maximoff : And she's not talking.
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Vision : I assure you, my love, I see nothing amiss. You have absolutely no reason to be frightened...
[hearing the thudding again, he yelps and climbs into his bed]
Wanda Maximoff : You were saying?
Vision : Actually, I did hear a couple of lads at work remarking on a few unsavory characters settling in the neighborhood. Now, who knows what those ne'er-do-wells might be up to? Robbing houses, vandalizing property.
Wanda Maximoff : Walking through walls, moving objects without touching them.
Vision : Wanda, darling, you can't be suggesting my colleagues were referring to us.
[hearing the thudding again, they gasp, and Wanda magically moves their beds together]
Vision : One of us should really determine the source of that sound.
Wanda Maximoff : Yes, one of us should.
[hearing it again, they jump and gasp]
Wanda Maximoff : Oh, this is getting ridiculous. I'm going to take a look.
Vision : [biting his quilt in fear] Oh, god! Darling!
[as she magically pushes the curtains open, it's revealed to be just a tree branch banging on the window]
Wanda Maximoff : Well, I think we handled that well.
Vision : Yes, I must say I'm rather proud of myself. And look at how you seized on the opportunity to redecorate.
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Vision : Is this the neighborhood watch meeting?
Norm : Oh. Hiya, Vision. Did... didn't expect to see you here. This is sort of a "members only"-type deal.
Vision : Ah! Certainly. Right. Well... I'll just stay here and be as quiet as a church mouse 'til you open up the floor for new business.
Herb : Well, in truth, we were just getting to new business.
Vision : Oh, splendid! Could you tell me how often you rotate security patrols? Do you interface directly with local law enforcement? What are your protocols regarding threats such as burglary, graffiti, and reckless driving?
Norm : No, Vision.
Vision : I know these are indeed grave matters.
Norm : "New business" actually means another round of Danish.
Phil Jones : [offering a box] Raspberry or cheese-filled?
Vision : Oh, neither for me, thank you. I don't eat food.
[seeing them all staring]
Vision : What I mean to say is that I don't eat food in between meals but at mealtimes. I'm a regular eating machine.
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Vision : [Wanda removes the gum he swallowed from his inner gears] Would you look at that? That really gummed up my works, didn't it?
Wanda Maximoff : Hmm.
Vision : Oh, I'm not as funny without it, am I?
Wanda Maximoff : Well, you're back to yourself, and that's all I care about. Now, let's get out of here before Dottie and the planning committee strings us up for ruining the show.
Dottie : [spotting them as they try to sneak away] You two, stop right there. Nothing like what you two just did up here has ever happened in the history of our talent show.
Wanda Maximoff : Dottie, we are so...
Dottie : Hilarious. That was the most hilarious act we've ever seen.
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Vision : Hello, Westview! Good afternoon. It's so lovely to be...
[bumping into a handrail]
Vision : I'm so sorry. Excuse me. I am Glamour, and this is my delightful assistant, Illusion.
Wanda Maximoff : I am Glamour and he's Illusion.
Vision : Yeah, what she said. Today, we will lie to you, and yet you will believe our little deceptions because human beings are easily fooled due to their limited understanding of the inner workings of the universe.
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Wanda Maximoff : Where have you been?
Vision : Oh. Uh, well, me and the boys were playing a rather thrilling game of horses with shoes. No, that's not it. Shoe horses! No. Ah! Horse's shoes.
