WandaVision (TV Mini Series)

Don't Touch That Dial (2021)

Elizabeth Olsen: Wanda Maximoff

Photos 

41 more photos

Quotes 

• Wanda Maximoff : What do you see?

  Vision : Only your lovely rose bushes.

  Wanda Maximoff : That's all? Are you using your night vision, Vision?

• Geraldine : Say, those pants are peachy keen.

  Wanda Maximoff : Do you really think so? The other ladies are in skirts. I was worried.

  Dottie : [interrupting]  We only have a few hours until showtime, so a little less cross chatter and a little more focus.

  Wanda Maximoff : Okay.

  Dottie : Those little boys and girls are counting on us. All of this is for the children.

  [the ladies chorus back "for the children"] 

  Wanda Maximoff : For the children.

  Geraldine : So, I want you all to give yourselves a big hand...

  [Wanda begins clapping] 

  Dottie : ...at the appropriate time, of course. But first, let's review event etiquette. Dress code is upscale garden party...

  Geraldine : The only reason I didn't clap is because I'm afraid to move.

  Wanda Maximoff : Yeah.

  Geraldine : I actually don't know what I'm doing here.

  Wanda Maximoff : I'm starting to feel that way myself. I'm Wanda.

  Geraldine : [shaking hands]  I'm, uh... Geraldine.

  Wanda Maximoff : Hi.

  Dottie : And I'm irritated. Tickets for tonight are completely sold out. Now, you can clap.

  [the ladies applaud] 

  Dottie : And stop.

  Agnes : How is anybody doing this sober?

• Wanda Maximoff : I don't know what I was so worried about. It wasn't so hard to fit in after all.

  Vision : And all we had to do was be ourselves.

  Wanda Maximoff : Well, with a few modifications.

  Vision : And it was all...

  Vision , Wanda Maximoff : For the children.

  Wanda Maximoff : Well, I think the children might need some popcorn.

  Vision : Wanda.

  Wanda Maximoff : Hmm, what?

  [realizing she's pregnant] 

  Wanda Maximoff : Vision... is this really happening?

  Vision : Yes, my love. It's really happening.

  [hearing a thudding outside] 

  Vision : If it's that damn tree again, I am going to rip it out by the roots!

• Vision : Darling, do all the other acts in the talent show have such elaborate props?

  Wanda Maximoff : Are you kidding? Fred and Linda are building a moat and a fully-functional portcullis and no one even knows why.

• Wanda Maximoff : [practicing their talent-show magic act]  Wanda, you're not at all worried that the audience might just see through this little charade?

  Wanda Maximoff : Well, that's the whole point. In a real magic act, everything is fake. Darling, the talent show fundraiser is the most important event of the season, and it's our neighborly duty to participate. Plus, it's our chance to appear as normal as possible while doing so.

  Vision : Well, I don't think that should be a problem.

  Wanda Maximoff : This is our home now. I want us to fit in.

  Vision : Oh, darling, we do. We shall. And we're gonna knock their socks off, especially with you wearing this.

  Wanda Maximoff : [he holds up her sequined outfit]  Oh, that's actually the rest of your costume.

• Geraldine : I have to ask.

  Vision : Hmm.

  Geraldine : One second, I'm backstage and in the next, I'm in a dark cubby hole. How'd you do it?

  Vision : Oh, a magician never reveals his secrets. He leaves that to his assistant.

  Wanda Maximoff : And she's not talking.

• Vision : I assure you, my love, I see nothing amiss. You have absolutely no reason to be frightened...

  [hearing the thudding again, he yelps and climbs into his bed] 

  Wanda Maximoff : You were saying?

  Vision : Actually, I did hear a couple of lads at work remarking on a few unsavory characters settling in the neighborhood. Now, who knows what those ne'er-do-wells might be up to? Robbing houses, vandalizing property.

  Wanda Maximoff : Walking through walls, moving objects without touching them.

  Vision : Wanda, darling, you can't be suggesting my colleagues were referring to us.

  [hearing the thudding again, they gasp, and Wanda magically moves their beds together] 

  Vision : One of us should really determine the source of that sound.

  Wanda Maximoff : Yes, one of us should.

  [hearing it again, they jump and gasp] 

  Wanda Maximoff : Oh, this is getting ridiculous. I'm going to take a look.

  Vision : [biting his quilt in fear]  Oh, god! Darling!

  [as she magically pushes the curtains open, it's revealed to be just a tree branch banging on the window] 

  Wanda Maximoff : Well, I think we handled that well.

  Vision : Yes, I must say I'm rather proud of myself. And look at how you seized on the opportunity to redecorate.

• Vision : [Wanda removes the gum he swallowed from his inner gears]  Would you look at that? That really gummed up my works, didn't it?

  Wanda Maximoff : Hmm.

  Vision : Oh, I'm not as funny without it, am I?

  Wanda Maximoff : Well, you're back to yourself, and that's all I care about. Now, let's get out of here before Dottie and the planning committee strings us up for ruining the show.

  Dottie : [spotting them as they try to sneak away]  You two, stop right there. Nothing like what you two just did up here has ever happened in the history of our talent show.

  Wanda Maximoff : Dottie, we are so...

  Dottie : Hilarious. That was the most hilarious act we've ever seen.

• Vision : Hello, Westview! Good afternoon. It's so lovely to be...

  [bumping into a handrail] 

  Vision : I'm so sorry. Excuse me. I am Glamour, and this is my delightful assistant, Illusion.

  Wanda Maximoff : I am Glamour and he's Illusion.

  Vision : Yeah, what she said. Today, we will lie to you, and yet you will believe our little deceptions because human beings are easily fooled due to their limited understanding of the inner workings of the universe.

• Wanda Maximoff : Where have you been?

  Vision : Oh. Uh, well, me and the boys were playing a rather thrilling game of horses with shoes. No, that's not it. Shoe horses! No. Ah! Horse's shoes.

• Agnes : So, are you ready to meet Queen Cul de Sac and her merry homemakers?

  Wanda Maximoff : Agnes, Dottie can't be as bad as you say.

  Agnes : Hmm. Well, you'll notice her roses bloom under penalty of death. Wanda, can I give you a bit of friendly advice?

  Wanda Maximoff : Is it about the way I'm dressed?

  Agnes : Yes, but it's too late for that. Dottie is the key to everything in this town. Country club memberships, parties, school admissions...

  Wanda Maximoff : Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

  Agnes : You get in with Dottie and it'll be smooth sailing from here on out. Just mind your P's and Q's and you're gonna do just fine.

  Wanda Maximoff : Or maybe I could just be myself? More or less?

  Agnes : [laughing]  Oh, Wanda, that's good.