Pushing Daisies (TV Series)

Pie-lette (2007)

Chi McBride: Emerson Cod

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ned : I asked you not to use the word "zombie". It's disrespectful. Stumbling around squawking for brains? That's not how they do. And "undead"? Nobody wants to be "un"-anything. Why begin a statement with a negative? It's like saying, "I don't disagree." Just say you agree.

  Emerson Cod : Are you comfortable with "living dead"?

  Ned : You're either living or you're dead. When you're living, you're alive. When you're dead, that's what you are. But when you're dead and then you're not, you're alive again. Can't we say "alive again"? Didn't that sound nice?

• Emerson Cod : Well, who died instead?

  Ned : [shows Emerson the obituary of the funeral director]  It's a random proximity thing.

  Emerson Cod : Bitch, *I* was in proximity!

• Emerson Cod : Sounds like you're a narcoleptic.

  Ned : I suffer from sudden and uncontrollable types of deep sleep?

  Emerson Cod : What's the other one?

  Ned : Necrophiliac.

  Emerson Cod : Words that sound alike get mixed up in my head.

  Olive : Me, too. I used to think masturbation meant chewing your food.

  [awkward silence] 

  Olive : I don't think that anymore.

• Emerson Cod : You know what? We all have childhood issues, okay? Believe me, I got the full subscription, okay? Horror stories!

  Ned : [referring to Chuck]  I kind of killed her dad when I was ten.

  Emerson Cod : Maybe not horror stories.

• Charlotte 'Chuck' Charles : Do you believe in reincarnation?

  Emerson Cod : Hell no. The planet's falling apart. Right now, it's the children's problem. We reincarnate, it's our problem.

• [Ned touches the recently strangled-to-death Deedee Duffield and she comes back to life] 

  Deedee : Hey, Charlotte!

  Charlotte 'Chuck' Charles : Hey, Deedee.

  Deedee : Now, how'd I know you'd be the first person I'd see when I got to...? Is this...? Which one is this?

  Charlotte 'Chuck' Charles : This is neither. Well, maybe it's both, but, listen, this is the deal: you get to talk for, like, a minute, we're gonna catch up, and then you're not talking anymore.

  Deedee : Does everyone get to do this? 'Cause, girl, we gotta break it down.

  Charlotte 'Chuck' Charles : Did you know I was gonna get killed?

  Deedee : I thought there might be the possibility, yes. I'm real sorry about that. I probably should've said something. But to be honest, and really, why not, at this point, if it were safe, I would've done it myself. God, this is fantastic! Being honest is fun!

  Emerson Cod : Ask her who killed her and you and what's with the monkeys.

  Deedee : Who are those people?

  Charlotte 'Chuck' Charles : That's Emerson, I don't really know him, and this is Ned. He was my first kiss.

  Deedee : [to Ned]  Now, you're adorable. Look at your li -

  [touches Ned's cheek and becomes dead again] 

  Emerson Cod : You couldn't have... scooted back a little?

  Ned : I didn't know she was gonna touch my cheek. Who does that?

  Charlotte 'Chuck' Charles : Actually, she does that a lot.

• [regarding Chuck] 

  Emerson Cod : Do you know this girl?

  Ned : I know of her.

  Emerson Cod : Know of her in the biblical sense?

  Ned : I haven't thought of her since I was ten.

  Emerson Cod : Think of her a lot when you were ten?

  Ned : I don't remember anything when I was ten.

  Narrator : The Pie Maker remembers everything.

• Vivian : Charlotte was a nice girl.

  Lily : With the exception of puberty

  Vivian : Which was unfortunately when Lily was going through a "change of life".

  Lily : Impolite to discuss a person's menopause in mixed company.

  Vivian : It nearly killed me.

  Lily : Horrible, the way Charlotte died - on a cruise. Last days spent surrounded by middle-aged overweight women who wear sweatshirts with things sewn to them.

  Vivian : Usually kittens made of felt.

  Lily : The food is perfectly atrocious - unless she enjoyed vomiting and diarrhea. I can't imagine she had a good last meal.

  Emerson Cod : Good last meal can go a long way. Our penal system makes a point of it.

• Emerson Cod : [about Leo Gaswint's "alleged" murderer, his dog, Cantaloupe]  Cantaloupe was framed; someone put a part of the victim in her mouth.

  Ned : Huh.

  Emerson Cod : Hey, docile as a kitten, says the family.

  Ned : Despite it being a Chow, the breed most likely to turn on its owner?

  Emerson Cod : Hey, hey! That's racial profiling.

• Ned : You died for a pair of plaster monkeys?

  Charlotte 'Chuck' Charles : Deedee said they weren't worth much, their only value was sentimental.

  Emerson Cod : Those must have been some emotional monkeys.

• [about the deceased body of Leo Gaswint] 

  Emerson Cod : How's he look?

  Ned : Fine, but my threshold's pretty high so you have to take that with a grain of salt.

  Emerson Cod : [looking at the body]  That ain't a grain of salt. That's one of them blocks they give cows to lick.

• [referring to Chuck] 

  Olive : Doesn't she look a lot like that dead girl?

  Emerson Cod : She looks *exactly* like that dead girl.

  Olive : You should take that as a compliment because she was pretty.

• Emerson Cod : Been watching the news lately?

  Ned : Yeah. There doesn't seem like much going on in the world besides a dead girl on a boat.

  Emerson Cod : A lot going on with that dead girl.

  Ned : Is that so?

  Emerson Cod : Mmhmm. Fifty-thousand dollars worth of that's so. You interested in the conversation?

  Ned : I could be persuaded.

  Emerson Cod : Well you better be persuaded quick because the dead girl's about to go in the ground.

  Ned : They just pulled her out of the water.

  Emerson Cod : Jewish. Christians leave 'em layin around - Jews gotta get 'em buried.

• Emerson Cod : Are you in love with her? 'Cause it's that level of stupid.

• Emerson Cod : The fact that he was a very, very bad man makes you feel better about what you did?

  Ned : Yes. Immensely. I would have felt horrible if it was... you, for example.

  [Emerson hits him] 

  Ned : I'm not proud!

  Emerson Cod : You know, I'm glad you did it. Makes the worst thing I did seem insignificant.

  Ned : Listen to you, all judgey-judge.