- Captain Slag: Arrr... What be that foul smell?
- Rusty Pete: Aye, that oyster chilli be dissagreein' with me somethin' fierce...
- Captain Slag: No, there be a yet fouler smell, one , I not be smellin' for nigh' 600 moons!
- Rusty Pete: Fresh trousers?
- Captain Slag, Rusty Pete: [singing] Me hearties sing schanties of girls in loose panties who linger by the shore. For sixpence I'll love her then ditch that landlubber, a pirate ever more!
- Qwark: Zordoom prison! A dangerous dungeon of dastardly denizens, death and destruction! A deadly den of devious, desperadoes, damaged by decades of d... uhhh... lets just say, they're criminals... To infiltrate this fortified, fortress of fear, our agent, codenamed 'Deadmeat', will make his way across the grindway of certain death, traverse the walkway of tortured souls, and ascend the grav-ramp into the mouth of the jolly jackal! While I direct the operation from my townhouse of solitude, our agent will jump down the elevator shaft to the lair of eternal sorrow... It is here he will be confronted by an army of Tachyon troopers, a battalion of embattled bandits, and an entire school of Zombie Ninja Panda Bears! Good luck Deadmeat! May you die a glorious heroes death!
- Tachyon: Emperor Percival Tachyon... Crown Prince of the Cragmites... and... pending the destruction of a few insubordinate species... ruler of the Galaxy!
- Ratchet: [laughs] Your name's Percival!
- Tachyon: Emperor! See the Crown? See the Sceptre? The legions of loyal soldiers and special walking chair? Emperor!
- Smuggler: Don't you lay this on me, you worthless sack of Kerchu sweat! You were supposed to watch the gel gauge!
- Smuggler's Parrot: AWK! Blame the parrot, always blame the parrot!
- Clank: Is everything alright, sir?
- Smuggler's Parrot: AWK! Imperial spies, hide their bodies! AWK!