- Mike Callahan: Weddings are the perfect place to rebound. So many sad, pretty girls realizing that their time is running out. They'll fall into the arms of the nearest guys, and that's gonna be us.
- George Newman: You can call me Daddy.
- P.J. Franklin: Well, that would make sense since I'm half your age.
- George Newman: [laughs] I like her.
- George Newman: [to Stephanie] My, my. Hello, Mrs. Newman #6.
- Kenny Morittori: You don't want that one. She's evil.
- George Newman: Well, that's the way I like 'em.
- P.J. Franklin: I had a really good time at that blues place. Did I dance?
- Jack Newman: I believe you did. We both did. You also sat in on harmonica.
- P.J. Franklin: [a little panicked] I did?
- Jack Newman: No, but now the dancing part doesn't seem nearly as humiliating, does it?
- Bobby Newman: If everyone's ready, I can show you to your rooms, and then after that we have the welcome wine tasting followed by the welcoming barbecue. It's all printed in your welcome package. We just really want you to feel welcome.
- George Newman: [seeing Kenny talking to Stephanie] Well, good luck, son. I'm pretty sure this one likes the ladies.
- [the guys compare old injuries]
- Jack Newman: Scar right there. See?
- P.J. Franklin: Oh, look, it's little Bobby teeth marks.
- Jack Newman: Well, he was twenty-two.
- Bobby Newman: Okay, okay, what about this one? Do you remember that? Your archery set?
- George Newman: Ooo.
- Mike Callahan: Dude, that's nothing.
- Mike Callahan: [pointing to his upper lip] Hockey stick.
- Kenny Morittori: [pointing to his forehead] Mm-mm. Beer bottle.
- Brendan Dorff: [pointing to his heart] Mm. Wendy.
- Mike Callahan: Aw, man, you made it real.
- Maggie: You know nothing about wine, do you?
- Mike Callahan: No, I... I'm more of a beer guy.
- Maggie: Well, the thing about drinking wine is savoring the experience, not rushing to some finish line of being drunk.
- Mike Callahan: See, that's where it loses me.
- Maggie: Mm. Well, there's a white over here that if you really sip it and savor it it kind of tastes like beer.
- Mike Callahan: Really?
- Maggie: No. It's wine. You're at a vineyard. This isn't Milwaukee.
- Mike Callahan: You know, uh, Milwaukee is actually the New York of Wisconsin. A lot of people don't know that.
- Andy Franklin: You know, I'm a minister.
- Brendan Dorff: I'm a candlestick maker.
- Kenny Morittori: And I'm a president. What're we doin'?
- Stephanie Layne: And what I tell you about prying?
- Kenny Morittori: That no one likes a nosy Nellie.
- Stephanie Layne: Then don't be one.