The Raccoons (TV Series)

Trouble Shooter! (1988)

Len Carlson: Bert Raccoon, Pig Two, Pig Three

Quotes 

• Bert Raccoon : [gleefully enjoying the ghost story he's telling]  D-AAAAAAAAHH!

  Cedric Sneer : Cut it out, Bert. Why do you have to tell ghost stories, when we're heading to the club house to spend the night alone, in the dark? Alone?

  Bert Raccoon : [laughing]  You don't really believe in ghosts, do ya, Cedric?

  [Cedric nods. Bert smiles mischievously] 

  Bert Raccoon : And then, just before the sun rose, the ghosts made a final visit. People in the village heard the clanking of chains, and bloodcurdling screams...!

  [He feels something touching him] 

  Bert Raccoon : Ah! Ahh! The banshee! It's got me! Help! Heeelp!

  [Cedric giggles] 

  Cedric Sneer : Look, Bert! It's just a branch!

  Bert Raccoon : Huh?

  [He looks behind him and sees that it is just a branch. He sighs with relief] 

  Bert Raccoon : Oh. Oh, yeah.

  [He chuckles nervously and then looks annoyed] 

  Bert Raccoon : Ohh. Come on.

• Bert Raccoon : But... Cyril? H-how did you- I mean- uh-wha-wha... wh-what did you...?

  Cyril Sneer : Let's just say I think we parents should stick together. Heh. We need all the help we can get.

• Cedric Sneer : We could use some help with these dishes, Bentley!

  Bentley Raccoon : Oh, lay off! I don't have to do anything I don't want to!

  Bert Raccoon : OK, I've had enough of this! Big tough guy, huh?

  Cedric Sneer : Shh, he'll hear you!

  Bert Raccoon : Doesn't need anybody! Makes a mistake and then can't face up to it! Runs away!

  Cedric Sneer : Um, Bert, remember, understanding...

  Bert Raccoon : [furious]  This has got to be said! So you want a life on the road, eh, Bentley? No home? No family? No friends? You wanna be a... a fugitive, right?

  Bentley Raccoon : That's right, a fugitive!

  Bert Raccoon : Never knowing if the next person you see is gonna put the finger on you and say, "There! That's the kid who cheated on his math mark!" Huh! Some life! Is that what you want?

  Bentley Raccoon : Maybe... and maybe not. What else is there?

  Bert Raccoon : Well...

  [He smiles warmly] 

  Bert Raccoon : For starters come and help us with the dishes, we'll figure out the rest later, okay?

  Bentley Raccoon : Okay, Bert.