- [the scene begins as Grandma Huang is just finishing her version of the 'Birds and Bees' talk she thinks that Eddie and Louis should give to young Evan]
- Grandma Huang: And that's how you pleasure a woman, emotionally and sexually.
- [Louis and Eddie are dumbstruck]
- Louis Huang: I don't feel comfortable saying any of that to Evan.
- Eddie Huang: I should have taken notes.
- Louis Huang: I'm just trying to erase the visuals. And the sound effects were totally unnecessary.
- Jessica Huang: Proofreading your Dad's poetry again?
- Emery Huang: If only. I'm trying to pick an elective for ninth grade. It's just so many great options: Photography, Yearbook, Drama...
- [she takes the list to see the choices for herself]
- Jessica Huang: Eucch, Drama! Woodshop, Ceramics, Welding... are you starting High School or prison?