My Name Is Earl (TV Series)

Frank's Girl (2007)

Jason Lee: Earl Hickey

Photos 

Quotes 

• Earl Hickey : [Earl takes Frank's place on his conjugal visit]  Uh, hey.

  Billie : Oh god, not again! I told Frank no more threesomes. No offense. I'm just afraid he'll finish too quick and I'll be stuck awkwardly doing a stranger.

• Frank : Earl, buddy, it's good to see you. Listen, listen, you got to go find my girl, Billie. Just tell her that I'm not blowing her off, and that I love her, and that she's the best thing that's ever happened to me, Earl. She's my angel.

  Earl Hickey : [Frank shows Earl his photo of Billie]  Wow, you're, uh, *naked* angel ...

  Frank : Yeah.

  Earl Hickey : ...with wings tattooed on her most private angel area.

  Frank : Yeah, those wings cost me a fortune. Plus, it was awkward. Her brother was the tattoo artist.

  Earl Hickey : Ah, that explains the "love your brother." I thought she was just trying to make the world a better place.

• Earl Hickey : I'm Earl Hickey, a friend of Frank's. He got thrown in the hotbox, but he wanted me to tell you that he still loves you. And that you're his number one angel. Which is saying a lot, cause there's quite a few guys named Angel in here.

  Billie : He got thrown in the hotbox, *today* of all days. That son-of-a-bitch! He doesn't love me.

  Earl Hickey : Come on, he loves you. He talks about you all the time. He's been faithful for at least seven years. Don't think he hasn't been tempted in here. One of those Angels is a pretty smooth talker.

• Earl Hickey : [about Frank]  The guy can make wine out of shampoo. I'm not sure even Jesus can do that.

• Earl Hickey : [voice-over]  A few days later, me and Frank found out we were convict matches for two ladies who wrote to us and were coming to visit. Randy even hooked us up with a conjugal apartment.

  Randy Hickey : And I'm gonna give you guys twice as much time. But if anyone asks, just remember to say you each had sex with your own girl, then switched. Otherwise, I could get in trouble.

• Earl Hickey : [on his conjugal visit with a transsexual]  I didn't really commit the crime, but I still feel like I deserve to be here because of karma. I know it sounds confusing.

  Annie : Heck, people have been calling me confused all my life. I'm not. That's why I'm going through with this whole surgery.

  Earl Hickey : "Hole surgery?" You'd think they'd have a fancier name for it.

  Annie : They do. It's called vaginoplasty.

• Randy Hickey : She's here! Billie's here!

  Earl Hickey : Really?

  Frank : Thanks, Earl. Hey, I gotta get her some flowers. Do you think anybody would mind if I took some carnations off of Jose's memorial in the yard?

  Frank : If anyone cared about Jose, he'd still be alive.