The Office (TV Series)

Chair Model (2008)

Brian Baumgartner: Kevin Malone

Photos 

Quotes 

• Andy Bernard : Okay, so... Help us out.

  Michael Scott : Wish I could, but I can't. Well, can, but won't. Should, maybe, but shorn't.

  Kevin Malone : Michael, please...

  Michael Scott : What part of "shorn't" don't you understand, Kevin?

• [first lines] 

  Pam Beesly : W. B. Jones is renovating their offices, and their construction crews are taking up some of the parking spaces we used to get.

  Jim Halpert : So we had to park at a satellite parking lot

  [tilts head] 

  Jim Halpert : over there.

  Pam Beesly : Which just means we get to see more of our lovely street. Tell them what we saw today, Jim.

  Jim Halpert : Oh, today we saw a junkyard dog attacking the bones of a rotisserie chicken.

  Pam Beesly : Nature!

  Oscar Martinez : I've been here nine years, now all of a sudden I'm supposed to park half a mile away.

  Andy Bernard : I lost a penny out of my loafers, Oscar!

  Kevin Malone : [on the ground, rubbing his feet and crying angrily]  I will quit. As God as my witness, *I will quit*

  [sniff] 

  Kevin Malone : if this is not fixed!

  Pam Beesly : Some of us like the walk more than others.

  Kevin Malone : [off-screen]  Hurts like hell...

• Kevin Malone : If I had somebody to set you up with, Michael, then I'd take her for myself.