- Narrator: Basically, minimum wage is the only guarantee people get paid in money. Your boss would pay you in Popsicle sticks if he could.
- Boss: Great work.
- [gives him a Popsicle stick]
- Worker: A Popsicle stick? What do you take this thing for, man? I cannot work and live off no Popsicle sticks. The least you can do is give me the damn Popsicle.
- Narrator: By 1986, I'd been working at Doc's for three years. Outside of getting robbed four times, sick on the pickles three times and a double hernia, it was the single greatest job I ever had. And from time to time, a pretty girl might stroll in. In exchange for all my hard work, I got paid three dollars an hour.
- Chris: [to Greg about the girl he likes] Why don't you just go talk to her?
- Greg Wuliger: I can't just go up to her and start talking.
- Narrator: Works for pimps.
- Chris: Yeah, you can.
- Greg Wuliger: Okay, smarty-pants, Do... do I say "hi"? Do I say "hello"? Or maybe "hey"? Or even "hey, hi"? The possibilities are endless. We haven't even gotten to what I'll be wearing.
- Narrator: I know what you'll be wearing. A look of frozen terror.
- Greg Wuliger: [to Chris] I've been having a hard time with my Mandy situation. This girl could be my future ex-wife, and I don't wanna mess it up.
- Greg Wuliger: [to Chris] You're embarrassing me, and when it comes to embarrassing myself in front of girls, I don't need any help.
- Julius: Hey, Chris. How's the new job working out?
- Chris: I quit.
- Julius: You quit? Quitting is for smoking and drinking. You better have a good reason for quitting your job.
- Chris: Mr. Fong kept yelling at me, I almost got shot at, I got robbed, I'm getting sick of rice, and to top that all off, I'm getting paid way much less than I was before.
- Julius: You know what, Chris? You quit Doc's for your principles. He was a good boss, but you picked minimum wage over good working conditions. Looks like you picked the wrong principle to stand on.
- Chris: Yeah, I did.
- Julius: What you going to do now?
- Chris: I'm going to go out and find a new job.
- Julius: That's not it, Chris. Look, you just can't quit every time you don't like something. I mean, what if Miles Davis had quit the trumpet?
- Chris: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. What if George Washington Carver quit the peanut? What if B.B. King quit "Lucille"? What if Paul Robeson quit "Old Man River"? What if Bill Cosby quit Jell-O? What if Mr. T quit pitying the fool? What if Stevie quit wondering? What if Fat Albert quit The Cosby Kids. What if Ashford quit Simpson? What if Michael Jackson quit doing the moonwalk? What if Diana Ross quit the Supremes?
- Julius: Diana Ross did quit the Supremes.
- Chris: You get my point.
- Julius: Just go get a job.
- Chris: Okay.
- Narrator: My mother's career as a hair model was over faster than Pacman Jones' career as a citizen.