- Mr. Matthews: What in the hell is going on here, huh? Teen Sex? Are you kids on crack? You are not putting a sex float in my Homecoming parade!
- Emily: But Mr. Matthews, you don't understand...
- Mr. Matthews: Don't you 'Mr. Matthews' me, young lady! This is a school-sanctioned event. You are not gonna have two kids bumpin' uglies on a float!
- Nicole: Nobody said that there...
- Mr. Matthews: No, no, there will be no girl-on-guy action. There will be no two-girls-and-a-guy action. There will be no two-guys-and-a-girl action. There will be no action AT ALL!
- Justin: No, no, no, no, we weren't trying to do that. We were just trying to make a...
- Mr. Matthews: You are gonna to have the same pointless float that you have every year. I don't care whether it rips, it rules, or it rocks. It DOESN'T go humpidy humpidy!
- Todd Palladino: Caucasian? What the hell's a Caucasian?
- Mike Palladini: I don't know. They should go back to where they came from!
- Justin: [voiceover] Intentional or not, Raja had stolen everything that mattered most to me, and I was determined to take it back. I knew I couldn't beat him with a better idea, so I came up with a cheaper one...
- Justin: TEEN SEX!
- Nicole: What?
- Justin: See, got your attention didn't it? It's a grabber.