Chuck (TV Series)

Chuck Versus the Tango (2007)

Zachary Levi: Chuck Bartowski

Photos 

Quotes 

• Chuck Bartowski : I've been a spy all of five seconds, and I already have soy sauce on my shirt.

  Sarah Walker : Well, go wash it off. And, Chuck?

  Chuck Bartowski : Yeah?

  Sarah Walker : Stop saying you're a spy.

  Chuck Bartowski : Oh, right...

• Chuck Bartowski : Okay, this is my first foray into major undercover spy work so if you could ease up on the sarcasm, that would be great. And how am I supposed to recognize La Ciudad? Is there a picture or something?

  John Casey : If there's a photograph, why would we need you?

  Chuck Bartowski : What did we just talk about?

• John Casey : [about Chuck's first mission]  You'll be fine, assuming you know how to tango.

  Chuck Bartowski : Are you serious?

  John Casey : Oh, I wouldn't joke about your life.

• Chuck Bartowski : [regarding the pictures of dead people]  Why are they sleeping?

  John Casey : They're not sleeping. They're dead.

  Sarah Walker : We need you to tell us who killed them, and why.

  Chuck Bartowski : [putting the pictures down]  How should I know?

  John Casey : Look at them again.

  Chuck Bartowski : I would really rather not. It's kind of creepy.

• Chuck Bartowski : That sounds great, but my wetsuit's at the dry cleaner's.

• Chuck Bartowski : You know, if we were really dating, this would be the part where I'd be forced to kiss you.

• Malena : [interrogating Chuck]  Now, I want you to think very carefully about my options. There's the old favorite, yank out a tooth... No, too noisy.

  [Chuck nods a lot] 

  Malena : I could cut off a toe... No, too messy.

  Chuck Bartowski : Far too messy.

  Malena : Or I could chuck you off the balcony, Chuck.

• Alan Waterman : [giving Chuck his card]  Well, if you need any help with the job thing, gimme a call. I know people.

  Chuck Bartowski : [has a flash]  Insider trading and off shore accounts in the Caymans.

  Alan Waterman : [shocked]  What did you just say? Do you work for the SCC?

  [graises back the card in a hurry] 

  Alan Waterman : I gotta go.

• Chuck Bartowski : My life took a little detour senior year when our old friend Bryce Larkin discovered stolen tests under my bed and was kind enough to alert administration.

  Sarah Walker : Did you steal the tests?

  Chuck Bartowski : I thought it was kind of implied that I'm a decent person.

  Sarah Walker : Well, we all make mistakes.

  Chuck Bartowski : And I've made plenty; that just wasn't one of them. But, hey, then Bryce sent me a whole database of government secrets that are now locked in my brain, keeping me in a constant state of fear, danger, and anxiety, sooo... I'd say we're even.

• Ellie Bartowski : You're tangoing on a date? That's new territory. Good to see you reaching outside your comfort zone.

  Chuck Bartowski : Considering my comfort zone extends to the end of that couch, new territory was bound to come up.

• Chuck Bartowski : I've got some bad news. Big Mike wants us to fix all of this junk in two days or he's going to give the assistant store manager position to Tang. I'm sorry guys. And Anna.

  Anna Wu : "Guys" is fine; I don't mind.

  Chuck Bartowski : No, it's not right. We need to come up with something non-gender specific. How do we feel about "team"?

  Anna Wu : Fellow Nerd Herders?

  Lester Patel : The Lesters?

  Jeff Barnes : Chuck's Stable of Hoes?

• John Casey : [His back turned to Chuck]  Drink, sir?

  Chuck Bartowski : Yeah, I'd like a martini, barkeep, shaken and stirred. Thank you.

  John Casey : [Turns around]  Would you like a cherry with that?

• Malena : Tell me how to fix a computer, Chuck.

  Chuck Bartowski : My first inclination's that your bus speed isn't up to snuff with your video card. We're talking about a PC, right? Is your memory dedicated?

  Malena : That's enough, Mr. Bartowski. I believe you. Problem is, since you've seen me, now I have to kill you.

  Chuck Bartowski : Have to? No, no, no, I disagree. I disagree vehemently, vehemently.

• Chuck Bartowski : Dress attire for this evening sneakers, or we classifying this as a shoe event?

  John Casey : We rented you a tux.

  Chuck Bartowski : Oh, that's very ni... How did you know my size?

  John Casey : NSA. We've records of your rental information from prom night.

  [Chuck looks shocked] 

  John Casey : I checked the suit in your closet.

• Malena : Beautiful painting.

  Chuck Bartowski : What's that? Yeah. Beautiful painting. Yeah, it's It definitely has a quality about it. Very, I would say, Bob Rossian in its influence.

  Malena : Who?

  Chuck Bartowski : Bob Ross. Bob, you know, Bob Ross. The guy who used to paint on PBS with the afro and the soothing... You've no idea what I'm talking about.

• Ellie Bartowski : How was the big date?

  Chuck Bartowski : It was good, great, fine. I'm gonna go to bed. I love you.

  Ellie Bartowski : What? No, no, no, no, no. Come on, now, I wanna know, you know? Do you like this girl, hmm?

  Chuck Bartowski : It's... you know, it's complicated.

  Ellie Bartowski : Well, explain it to me slowly, I'll catch up.

  Chuck Bartowski : She's a very beautiful girl.

  Ellie Bartowski : [nods]  Good. Come on.

  Chuck Bartowski : And she's very agile.

  Ellie Bartowski : I'm not sure how that applies, but continue.

  Chuck Bartowski : And - and I think she's too exhausting for me.

  Ellie Bartowski : [sighs]  What happened? Did you guys tango?

  Chuck Bartowski : Oh, yeah, yeah. We tangoed. In fact, we tangoed quite a bit. But, uh, Awesome taught me the... woman's part of the tango, so it was a little difficult, as one might expect.