Gossip Girl (TV Series)

Seventeen Candles (2007)

Leighton Meester: Blair Waldorf

Quotes 

• Chuck Bass : Are you ready for your present?

  [Blair grabs his hair and pulls] 

  Chuck Bass : Owww! If you wanted to play ROUGH all you had to do was ask!

  Blair Waldorf : You nauseate me!

  Chuck Bass : All this talk about how you have to be with Nate, or the world will end. Face it, it's over!

  Blair Waldorf : You sound like a jealous boyfriend.

  Chuck Bass : Yeah, right! You wish!

  Blair Waldorf : No. You wish!

  Chuck Bass : Please, you forget who you're talking to.

  Blair Waldorf : So do you. Do you... like me?

  Chuck Bass : Define "like"?

  Blair Waldorf : Ohh! Ahh! You have got to be kidding! I do not believe this.

  Chuck Bass : How do you think I feel! I haven't slept, I feel sick - like there is something in my stomach... fluttering.

  Blair Waldorf : Butterflies? Oh, no, no, no, no, no! No, no, no! This is not happening!

  Chuck Bass : Believe me, no one is more surprised or ashamed than I am.

  Blair Waldorf : Chuck, you know that I adore all of God's creatures and the metaphors that they inspire, but those butterflies have got to be murdered!

  Chuck Bass : Fine! It wasn't that great anyway.

  Blair Waldorf : Thanks!

• Chuck Bass : Not as much as I enjoyed the memory of you purring in my ear which I have been replaying over and over...

  Blair Waldorf : Well erase the tape!

• Blair Waldorf : Oh my God! Do you like me?

  Chuck Bass : Define like...

• Blair Waldorf : Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been... a while since my last confession.

  Priest : What troubles you, my child?

  Blair Waldorf : [sighs]  After being broken up with my boyfriend for exactly twenty minutes, I succumbed to inebriation, performed at a Speak-Easy, and surrendered my virtue to a self-absorbed ass. The only good news is that he's a total pig who'll act like it never happened, thank God.

  Priest : Ahem.

  Blair Waldorf : Sorry. Truthfully, I'm not even Catholic.

  Priest : [sarcastically]  You don't say?

  Blair Waldorf : But losing my virginity to Chuck Bass? None of my friends will ever understand. I'm ready for my punishment. Whatever you and God think is fair. Flogging, fasting, putting that thing with the teeth around my thigh like Silas.

  Priest : How about some food for thought instead? Don't drink, keep your clothes on, try avoiding those who might cause you to stray.

  Blair Waldorf : Oh, I plan to. Thank you, Father. That was very good advice.

  [gets up but comes back] 

  Blair Waldorf : You don't grant birthday wishes, do you?

  Priest : I'm a priest, not a genie.

  Blair Waldorf : Well, the next time you talk to Him, would you ask Him to send my boyfriend back to me?

• Blair Waldorf : We ended it. I wanted to tell you but I thought that if part of me said it, it wouldn't be true. It was my birthday wish for us to get back together and now I think it's really over.

• Chuck Bass : [outside chapel]  So, this is the last place I'd expect to find you.

  Blair Waldorf : Go away, Chuck! I've been given orders practically from God himself to avoid you.

  Chuck Bass : Will you consider avoiding me over breakfast?

  Blair Waldorf : Sorry, but as is traditional the day before my birthday, I'm heading to the jewelers to put some pieces on hold for Eleanor and...

  Chuck Bass : Nate? Well, I don't think he'll be singing Happy Birthday this year.

  Blair Waldorf : No one knows that Nate and I broke up, and it's gonna stay that way so that I can fix it. And I don't think he'd still be your friend if he knew.

  Chuck Bass : If he knew how much I enjoyed removing a certain chastity belt in the back of this very limo...

  Blair Waldorf : [icily]  From this moment forward, the events of last night will never be mentioned again, is that clear?

  Chuck Bass : Not as clear as the memory of you purring in my ear, which I have been replaying over and over.

  Blair Waldorf : Well, erase the tape, because as far as I am concerned, it never happened.

  Chuck Bass : I'll see you at your party tonight.

  Blair Waldorf : You're officially uninvited!

  Chuck Bass : Never stopped me before!

  Gossip Girl : [voice-over]  Speak of the devil and he doth appear... wearing his trademark scarf. Careful, B. Hell hath no fury like a Chuck Bass scorned.