- Nostalgia Critic: [singing to the tune of "I Love You, You Love Me"] You diss me, I kill you, all you've heard about Hell is true...
- Nostalgia Critic: Downside to having an orchestra play Old MacDonald? It can make a C sound like an F sometimes.
- Chorus: [singing] With a cluck-cluck here / And a cluck-cluck there, / Here a cluck, there a cluck, / Everywhere a cluck-cluck...
- Nostalgia Critic: Barney's Great Brothel was an unpopular working title, but they still managed to keep those lyrics in.
- Nostalgia Critic: There's two kinds of Barneys in the world. One is an obnoxious dinosaur nobody likes to listen to, and the other is purple. OOH!
- [he jumps up from his seat and runs around his father, who happens to be named Barney, and points his finger at him repeatedly]
- Nostalgia Critic: Barney is one of the most fascinating children's icons who ever existed, not because he had much lasting value for kids or adults, but because of the raw, undiluted hatred everybody had for him. Unless you were somewhere between the ages of one and five, chances are, you despised this early '90s educational phenomenon. Everywhere you looked, you either saw Barney, or someone making fun of Barney. There was no one who saw him as just okay. You either liked him as a little kid, or loathed him at every other age. It was kind of amazing. And I'm not gonna lie, I hated this lumpy prune with mouth-guard teeth, too. But it wasn't until recently I started asking myself, "Why?" I mean, it's for little kids. We don't find ourselves getting this upset at "Sesame Street", "Dora", "Super Why" or "Word Girl", but something about Barney just ignited a fire within most viewers who have little kids and were forced to watch it. Hell, even people without little kids found themselves repulsed by his... ability to delight toddlers? Yeah, it is weird that we got so angry at this. What's the best way to figure out why he irked people so much? Well, clearly, it's to be irked for an hour and a half, checking out his 1998 cinematic dino dropping.