- Scrooge McDuck: Something is terribly wrong.
- [Scrooge begins walking through the Mansion. Grunting is heard and Scrooge opens a door to find Webby, Lena, and Violet fighting a werewolf]
- Scrooge McDuck: No. That's not it.
- [closes door]
- Dewey Duck: [Scrooge walks down the stairs hears faint wind noises and opens the door to the kitchen. Inside, Beakley and Dewey are caught in a windstorm stemming from a teapot] WOAH!
- Scrooge McDuck: Tempest in a teapot. Pesky, but manageable.
- [closes door]
- Huey Duck, Della Duck: [Scrooge approaches another door. In the living room, Della and Huey are dressed in fantasy game costumes in preparation for a game. On the projection screen is a loading screen for Legends of Legend Quest Dereznaroth] A prophesied hero has arrived. A hero who is- You! Rise, Legends of Legend Quest!
- Scrooge McDuck: I mean, this is very wrong, but it's not this either. I've checked the whole blasted mansion. What could it be?
- [Returns to his office]
- Goldie O'Gilt: [Scrooge's eyes widen as he sees his chair turned away, the person sitting in it is flipping a coin into the air. Goldie swivels around to face him] Morning, Scroogie.
- Scrooge McDuck: Goldie? What are you doing here?
- Louie Duck: She's with me.
- Louie Duck: Your whole work really hard, make money square thing doesn't really work for me. Goldie's make money easy with no downsides works much better with Louie Inc. brand.
- Louie Duck: Please, I'm a professional, I can handle this.
- [Cut to Louie locked in a trunk as Goldie robs his room]
- Louie Duck: How did this go so wrong so quickly?
- Goldie O'Gilt: [Picks up Louie's golden statue] Rule number 1, kid: if you want to pick a pocket, you gotta get close.
- [Steps on a creaky board, flips back the rug and opens it]
- Goldie O'Gilt: Better luck next time, rookie.
- Louie Duck: Rookie? I'll have you know I'm the evil triplet, okay!
- Goldie O'Gilt: [Removes a bag of money from the floorboard] Sure, you're the scariest bunny in the petshop. Let me guess, you see all the angles, you're the sharper than the sharpies? Didn't see this angle, Sharpie.
- [Dumps out the trashcan on the desk]
- Louie Duck: [Crying sounds] Louie Incorporated is my dream, but no one believes that I can do it. I know I'll never be able to work harder than Scrooge, but I-I thought maybe I could learn to be clever like you, like my hero?
- [chest starts to open]
- Goldie O'Gilt: [sits on the chest] Not bad. Was that a Crocodile Water Works?
- Louie Duck: The hero's guilt trip with a lone wolf gambit.
- Goldie O'Gilt: You know your cons.
- [picks up a golden piece of paper]
- Goldie O'Gilt: Hmm...
- [Opens the chest lid and Louie pops up]
- Louie Duck: So you'll teach me?
- Goldie O'Gilt: [showing a letter] Only if you can get me in here.
- Louie Duck: No! No way!
- [Shuts himself back in the chest]
- Louie Duck: Not Doofus Drake's birthday!
- Della Duck: I can't believe this game's still around! Scrooge and Donald used to come home to sleep after an adventure, but this baby let me quest all night long!
- Huey Duck: This is gonna be epic!
- [Transition into the video game. Della's character has sci-fi armor and a large sword. Pan over to Huey's character who wears peasant clothes]
- Huey Duck: Let's do this!
- [begins using a hoe to farm]
- Della Duck: So, what do you think the word epic means?
- [Huey taps the ground and a barrier around the farm appears]
- Della Duck: Epic. Real epic. So what's first? Raid the Cyber Troll Citadel? Crash the wedding of Princess Username and the demonic, yet alluring heartthrob goblin?
- Huey Duck: Invaders!
- [Della summons her sword, Huey attacks bugs with his hoe]
- Huey Duck: Stay away from my data farm! Yah! These Grind Hoppers drop three XP.
- Della Duck: But the impractically giant weapons? The high-stakes adventure?
- Huey Duck: Ha, ha. You want high stakes? So- watch out!
- [Della blasts the bug with her canon]
- Huey Duck: You're doing it!
- Doofus Drake: Tell me a story, Goldiemama.
- Doofus' Mom, Butler Dad: [reverently and in awe] Goldiemama...
- Goldie O'Gilt: Well, this one time I was trapped in a dimension where imps jabbed me with a million tiny splinters as they whispered my most devastating failures in my ear. This is worse.