Moonlight (TV Series)

No Such Thing as Vampires (2007)

Jason Dohring: Josef Kostan

Quotes 

• Mick St. John : Hey, and don't forget. I'm your only friend who doesn't like you just for your money.

  Josef Konstantin : That's true. Sad, but true.

• Josef Konstantin : It's a threat to our secrecy. What is this, the 1720s? We're discreet! We don't leave bodies lying around. Now we have to be extra vigilant. We live in an age of fingerprint scans, DNA tests, genome mapping...

  Mick St. John : ...Josef! Relax!

  Josef Konstantin : I am relaxed. This is relaxed. You're only 90. You've never been chased by a torch-bearing mob.

• Josef Konstantin : [to Mick]  Hey look. I know you have morals and scruples and that's fine, sort of.

• Mick St. John : The killer's not a vampire, Josef.

  Josef Konstantin : There were bite marks.

  Mick St. John : Two stab wounds.

  Josef Konstantin : What, and the blood?

  Mick St. John : Well, you hit an artery, you're bound to get some of that.

  Josef Konstantin : So you're telling me some poser wannabe drinking blood out of a Snoop Dogg chalice is behind this?

• Josef Konstantin : Well you, my friend, must get her to stop.

  Mick St. John : What d'you mean? Like she's driving along and suddenly her car explodes?

  Josef Konstantin : I was thinking of you ask her nicely, but... fielder's choice.

• Josef Konstantin : [to Mick]  Now I know you have morals and scruples, and that's fine-sort of.

• Josef Konstantin : Vampire solidarity. Rah rah rah, and all that.

  Mick St. John : Hey, and don't forget. I'm your only friend who doesn't like you just for your money.

  Josef Konstantin : True. Sad but true.

• Josef Konstantin : You seriously drink this stuff? What is it, like, non-fat, soy, vegan blood?

  Mick St. John : [reaches for Josef's glass]  If you don't like it...

  Josef Konstantin : I didn't say that.

  Mick St. John : Are you sure?

  Josef Konstantin : Get outta here.

• Josef Konstantin : You seriously drink this stuff? What is it, like, non-fat, soy, vegan blood?

  Mick St. John : [Reaches for Josef's glass]  If you don't like it...

  Josef Konstantin : I didn't say that.

  Mick St. John : Are you sure?

  Josef Konstantin : Get outta here.

• Josef Konstantin : [to Mick]  Hey, you have a soft spot for the mortal ones. A fascination with all the charming things they do while listening to the tick tick tick of their own looming demise, that's fine, that's good. Everyone needs a hobby.

• Josef Konstantin : You seriously drink this stuff? What is it like nonfat soy vegan blood?

  Mick St. John : You don't like it...

  [reaches for glass] 

  Josef Konstantin : [pulling glass away]  I never said that.

  Mick St. John : You sure?

  Josef Konstantin : Get outta here!

• Mick St. John : We're on the same side.

  Josef Kostan : Sorry. I'm not questioning your loyalties.

  Mick St. John : Yeah, good.

  Josef Kostan : Yeah, vampire solidarity. Ra ra ra and all that.

• Josef Kostan : It's about time you got back!

  Mick St. John : Make yourself at home!

  Josef Kostan : I did! I poured myself a drink. You seriously drink this stuff? What is it? Like not-fat, soy, vegan blood?

• Josef Konstantin : Why haven't you killed him?

  Mick St. John : There's more than one suspect, Josef.

  Josef Konstantin : So kill them all! That's what I would do.