Moonlight (TV Series)

No Such Thing as Vampires (2007)

Alex O'Loughlin: Mick St. John

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mick St. John : Hey, and don't forget. I'm your only friend who doesn't like you just for your money.

  Josef Konstantin : That's true. Sad, but true.

• Josef Konstantin : It's a threat to our secrecy. What is this, the 1720s? We're discreet! We don't leave bodies lying around. Now we have to be extra vigilant. We live in an age of fingerprint scans, DNA tests, genome mapping...

  Mick St. John : ...Josef! Relax!

  Josef Konstantin : I am relaxed. This is relaxed. You're only 90. You've never been chased by a torch-bearing mob.

• Mick St. John : [voiceover]  Forever is a long time with an ex-wife like mine.

• Beth Turner : Right. Blood cult. So, we're talking vampires?

  [laughs] 

  Beth Turner : I know... they don't exist. But something has to explain all the killing and the Gotharama around here, I mean, obviously she had a thing for vampires.

  Mick St. John : Yeah, I guess they're back in style.

  [pauses] 

  Mick St. John : You know, some people actually find them attractive?

  Beth Turner : [disbelievingly]  Really?

  Mick St. John : [chastened and deadpan]  Yeah.

• Christian Ellis : I *am* a vampire.

  Mick St. John : [sarcastically]  Really.

  Christian Ellis : Well, not in the way most commonly portrayed in dime-store novels. When most people hear the word "vampire" they immediately conjure up an image of some undead monstrosity running around at night trying to drink human blood...

• Christian Ellis : When most people hear the word vampire, they immediately conjure up an image of some undead monstrosity running around at night trying to drink human blood.

  Mick St. John : I hate that.

• Mick St. John : The killer's not a vampire, Josef.

  Josef Konstantin : There were bite marks.

  Mick St. John : Two stab wounds.

  Josef Konstantin : What, and the blood?

  Mick St. John : Well, you hit an artery, you're bound to get some of that.

  Josef Konstantin : So you're telling me some poser wannabe drinking blood out of a Snoop Dogg chalice is behind this?

• Josef Konstantin : Well you, my friend, must get her to stop.

  Mick St. John : What d'you mean? Like she's driving along and suddenly her car explodes?

  Josef Konstantin : I was thinking of you ask her nicely, but... fielder's choice.

• Josef Konstantin : Vampire solidarity. Rah rah rah, and all that.

  Mick St. John : Hey, and don't forget. I'm your only friend who doesn't like you just for your money.

  Josef Konstantin : True. Sad but true.

• Mick St. John : Sixty years is a long time to deny yourself the touch of another, but you do it. Because you just can't bear the thought of seeing yourself as a monster in someone else's eyes.

• Beth Turner : [first meeting]  Do I know you?

  Mick St. John : You tell me.

  Beth Turner : You're a cop. Right?

  Mick St. John : No.

  Beth Turner : Reporter?

  Mick St. John : Nope.

  Beth Turner : We've met before. You look very familiar.

  Mick St. John : Well maybe I've just got one of those faces.

• Mick St. John : Somewhere in the city a killer is loose. Josef wants me to hunt him to keep our secret safe. I just wanna make sure he doesn't do it again. You don't have to be a vampire to get a taste for blood.

• Interviewer : Any advice for the vampire wannabes out there?

  Mick St. John : Yeah.

  [looks in camera] 

  Mick St. John : Stay out of my way.

• Beth Turner : Do I know you?

  Mick St. John : You tell me.

  Beth Turner : You're a cop, right?

  Mick St. John : No.

  Beth Turner : Reporter.

  Mick St. John : Nope.

  Beth Turner : We've met before, you look very familiar.

  Mick St. John : Well, maybe I've just got one of those faces.

  Beth Turner : Ok. Question: what do you like better? "Vampire Slaying Rocks L.A-"

  Mick St. John : There's no such thing as vampires.

  Beth Turner : I don't think the girl in the fountain would agree. I mean-

  [turns back and he's gone] 

• Josef Konstantin : You seriously drink this stuff? What is it, like, non-fat, soy, vegan blood?

  Mick St. John : [reaches for Josef's glass]  If you don't like it...

  Josef Konstantin : I didn't say that.

  Mick St. John : Are you sure?

  Josef Konstantin : Get outta here.

• Mick St. John : [to Professor Ellis]  So, tell me something, professor. Do the salutary effects kick in before, or after, the sex with your students?

• Mick St. John : [sotto voce]  Mmm. Hate that.

• Josef Konstantin : You seriously drink this stuff? What is it, like, non-fat, soy, vegan blood?

  Mick St. John : [Reaches for Josef's glass]  If you don't like it...

  Josef Konstantin : I didn't say that.

  Mick St. John : Are you sure?

  Josef Konstantin : Get outta here.

• Josef Konstantin : You seriously drink this stuff? What is it like nonfat soy vegan blood?

  Mick St. John : You don't like it...

  [reaches for glass] 

  Josef Konstantin : [pulling glass away]  I never said that.

  Mick St. John : You sure?

  Josef Konstantin : Get outta here!

• Mick St. John : We're on the same side.

  Josef Kostan : Sorry. I'm not questioning your loyalties.

  Mick St. John : Yeah, good.

  Josef Kostan : Yeah, vampire solidarity. Ra ra ra and all that.

• Josef Kostan : It's about time you got back!

  Mick St. John : Make yourself at home!

  Josef Kostan : I did! I poured myself a drink. You seriously drink this stuff? What is it? Like not-fat, soy, vegan blood?

• Josef Konstantin : Why haven't you killed him?

  Mick St. John : There's more than one suspect, Josef.

  Josef Konstantin : So kill them all! That's what I would do.

• Mick St. John : Sometimes the past doesn't just catch up with you. It haunts you. Makes you think about the choices. On that night 22 years ago, I followed a trail, found the girl. And came face-to-face with the woman who'd made me a monster. Coroline.

• Mick St. John : Forever is a long time with an ex-wife like mine.

• Mick St. John : The last time I held her in my arms, she was only a child. Over the years, I've tried to stay close, just out of sight. In case she needed me. Tonight she did.

• Interviewer : Mick St. John. Thank you for joining us tonight.

  Mick St. John : You're welcome.

  Interviewer : So, what's it like being a vampire?

  Mick St. John : Being a vampire sucks. It's a bad joke I know, but it's the truth.

  Interviewer : So you drink blood?

  Mick St. John : Why? You offering? I'm just kidding. Yeah, I- I have a guy.

  Interviewer : You mean like a dealer?

  Mick St. John : Yeah, like a dealer.

  Mick St. John : So you never bite anybody?

  Mick St. John : No. No. Unless they really ask for it.

  Interviewer : You sleep in a coffin?

  Mick St. John : No. That's an old wives tale. I sleep in a freezer. And while we're on the subject: garlic is tasty on pizza.

  Interviewer : Does it repel you?

  Mick St. John : Repels my dates, sometimes. Toss holy water on me I get wet. Crucifixes? Ok, if you like that kind of thing. Oh, and I definitely can't turn into a bat. That'd be cool though, wouldn't it?

  Interviewer : What about daylight?

  Mick St. John : Daylight's not good. Daylight's not good. The longer I'm in the sun, the worse I feel.

  Interviewer : But you don't burst into flames?

  Mick St. John : Not if I can help it.

  Interviewer : How do you kill a vampire? Wooden stake I'm guessing.

  Mick St. John : No. A wooden stake won't kill a vampire. Flamethrower, would kill a vampire. Or we can lose our head. I mean, literally. Other than that we heal.

  Interviewer : You seem like a very nice guy. But don't most vampires kill people?

  Mick St. John : Most vampires don't have boundaries or rules, but I do. I don't hunt women and I don't hunt children. I don't hunt innocents. But there's predators out there that need to be dealt with.

  Interviewer : Is that why you became a private investigator?

  Mick St. John : It's a way to use my special abilities.