- Brian: Hello. Are people difficult bastards or not? To help us find out, we have in the studio a really difficult bastard...
- Arthur Collier: Hello, good evening.
- Brian: ...and the Bishop of Somerset.
- Bishop of Somerset: Get lost.
- Brian: Can I turn to you first, Bishop?
- Bishop of Somerset: Shut up.
- Brian: Oh. Arthur Collier, you have the reputation of being an extremely difficult bastard.
- Arthur Collier: Yes that's right Brian, I certainly do have that reputation, most true.
- Brian: Have you had this reputation for a long time?
- Arthur Collier: Uh, for quite some while, certainly Brian, yes.
- Brian: Uh, if you don't mind my saying so, you don't seem to me to be an extremely difficult bastard at all...
- Arthur Collier: Oh shut up!
- [karate chops Brian, jumps and sits on the table, pointing at the camera]
- Arthur Collier: Right. Get this and get it right. The Bishop and I have got Michael Aspel tied up in a basement, and unless a thousand pounds is put on the steps...
- Bishop of Somerset: And a crate of whiskey!
- Arthur Collier: What?
- Bishop of Somerset: And a crate of whiskey.
- Arthur Collier: Oh. Unless a thousand pounds and a crate of whiskey is put on the s...
- Bishop of Somerset: And a wristwatch.
- Arthur Collier: What?
- Bishop of Somerset: I need a new wristwatch.
- Arthur Collier: What sort?
- Bishop of Somerset: Mickey Mouse one.
- Arthur Collier: Alright. Unless a thousand pounds, a crate of whiskey, and a Mickey Mouse wristwatch are p...
- Bishop of Somerset: And get some of those little chocolate!
- Arthur Collier: What sort?
- Bishop of Somerset: Those nice minty ones.
- Arthur Collier: Yeah alright. Unless a thousand pounds, a crate of whiskey, a Mickey Mouse wristwatch, and some of those nice minty choccies...