- Sam Drucker: [tries to talk Oliver out of sending another hotheaded complaint letter, this one to the U.S. Post Office] Remember the last time you wrote a complaining letter?
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: To whom?
- Sam Drucker: Take your pick. They were all disasters.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Oh, that's not...
- Sam Drucker: It was two weeks to get our lights back on when you wrote to the electric company.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Well, that was...
- Sam Drucker: We didn't get any water for a month after you wrote to the water company.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Yeah, well...
- Sam Drucker: And there was the school bus fiasco, the condemned bridge fiasco... Well, uh, u name it, and it was a fiasco!