- Justin Russo: I can hardly believe mom and dad would be okay with this.
- Alex Russo: Of course they're okay with it, just like TJ's parents are. That's what charming your parents means.
- Justin Russo: Mom and dad are charmed?
- [Alex nods]
- Justin Russo: What! How! When! Who!
- Alex Russo: Mom and dad.
- Justin Russo: What! How! When!
- Alex Russo: At dinner.
- Justin Russo: What! How!
- Alex Russo: It was in the kugel.
- Justin Russo: What!
- Alex Russo: Justin, I think you know what!
- [last lines]
- [TJ zaps into the Russos' house and sees what his parents are eating]
- TJ Taylor: [shocked] Brownies!
- Mrs. Taylor: You're in trouble, young man.
- TJ Taylor: [defiantly] I'll show *you* trouble!
- Mr. Taylor: [glowering at him] *That* was never funny.
- [TJ retreats]
- Theresa Russo: [to Justin] Have some kugel.
- Justin Russo: I'm allergic to cinnamon. That's why I get my own pie at Thanksgiving.
- Theresa Russo: Oh, yeah, the bland pie.
- Jerry Russo: [sees the catwalk] Oooo! A catwalk!
- [he starts strutting down the runway]
- Alex Russo: Well, this is awkward.
- Justin Russo: I'm staying here to watch your plan blow up and pop. Metaphor.
- Alex Russo: Well I'll be the one laughing like a hyena.
- Justin Russo: Simile.
- Alex Russo: No, animal joke.
- [first lines]
- Theresa Russo: [handing lunches to the kids] Okay. Whole wheat. No crusts. Five dollars in a bag.
- Justin Russo: TJ Taylor's a wizard? Then that magic act he did at the school talent show was fake... I mean real, which is what made it fake. Oh, he needs to return that first-place ribbon; I'm making a call.
- [Justin opens his locker after Alex tells him to use magic to do it]
- Alex Russo: That's not magic.
- Justin Russo: How do you know I didn't forget my locker combination and then use magic to remember it?
- Alex Russo: Because you made up a locker combination song. Right to clear it, come on, let's hear it...
- [Justin joins in]
- Alex Russo, Justin Russo: [in unison] ... 23, left eight digits, but don't fidget, 31, now for the last, don't go too fast, six, and you're off to class. Whoo!
- Jerry Russo: Hey! Look what I found in a plastic bag upstairs. My old bowling shirt. I thought you threw this out.
- Theresa Russo: Jerry, when you find something in a bag with used floss and empty shampoo bottles, it *was* thrown out!