- Rick: [answers phone] Hello?
- Rick's Mother: [in a heavy Filipino accent] Junior!
- [referring to the wooden decor that hangs on the bedroom wall]
- Rick's Mother: Don't take down da pork en spoon.
- Rick: Mom, we have guests.
- Rick's Mother: [says an unintelligible Filipino word] who want to take down your spoon. Modder ploated prom da Philippines on dat spoon. Right, Papa?
- Rick's Father: [looks up from newspaper] Hmm?
- Rick's Mother: [sing-songy] You tell dem you are a gay Pilipino
- [continues stirring a pot cooking on the stove]
- Rick's Mother: en di only ting you love more dan dat spoon is your modder!
- Announcer: [over the bus's Public Address system] Attention to our gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and sexually retarded riders. This is the final stop in West Lahunga Beach. The next stop is regular Lahunga Beach. Depart now or stifle your creativity.
- Announcer: [at the next stop] We are now entering the heterosexual time zone. Please set your watch to five minutes ago.
- Straight Female Demonstrator: [to TV news reporter] Evan symbolizes what's f---'d up in this f---'d up society. What's so wrong with putting your mouth in a hairy man's
- [bleeped out word]
- Straight Female Demonstrator: to suck out your own
- [bleeped out word]
- Straight Female Demonstrator: ?
- Evan: Ewww.