- Peter Griffin: Wet wood hisses, dry wood crackles in uncomfortable silences. I like cutaways where I get to be smart.
- Peter Griffin: I also didn't bring one of those laser-guns from Ghostbusters.
- [he turns it on]
- Peter Griffin: Joe look, Look I got me a West.
- [Adam West's ghost is trapped]
- Peter Griffin: Good we'll keep him until we get a new mayor.
- Peter Griffin: Oh - hey, Quagmire! We came to see how it's going.
- Glenn Quagmire: Uh, how's it going? I gotta a dead cat on a pitchfork! I don't even know which can to put it in! Trash? Yard trimmings? Recycling?
- Cleveland Brown: I just put whatever in whatever.
- Lois Griffin: Well, good riddance Christian Camp!
- Meg Griffin: Though, I have to say Chris seemed to enjoy himself.
- Lois Griffin: Well, Chris is a bit dumb, and while you're not beautiful or popular, you do have a head on your shoulders. So for people like you and me, Religion is no good, but for idiots like your brother, it's okay.
- Chris Griffin: What are you guys talking about?
- Lois Griffin: How handsome you are!
- Chris Griffin: Aw! Really?
- Lois Griffin: Swear to God!
- [winks at Meg]
- Meg Griffin: You're a monster!