- The Penguin: I, the infamous Penguin, perpetrator of paramount crimes, harlequin of whodunnits and... fly in the ointment of justice, is throwing in the towel. I...
- [snickers]
- The Penguin: ... quit. Going out of business. Kaput. I'm turning myself in.
- The Penguin: [laughs] We'll know soon enough, Gigi, if my brilliant but untested Crime Slime is going to work.
- Gigi: Gosh, you're smart, boss.
- The Penguin: How right you are, my dear.
- Batman: [after being forced to breathe in Crime Slime] I thought we were buddies, Penguin. What are you keeping us down in this dump for?
- Robin: Yeah, we got places to go and crimes to commit.
- The Penguin: [having switched bodies with Bat-Mite]
- [laughs]
- The Penguin: Well now, you sound like a man after my own heart, Robin.
- [pushes a remote to conjure up a flight of stairs so the Dynamic Duo can get out of the basement]
- Batman: He's really after your wallet, Penguin, so hang on to it.
- The Penguin: [in Bat-Mite's body] Batman, I need a favor...
- Batman: Name it, old buddy.
- Robin: Yeah, but make sure it's against the law. After all, we might as well have some fun doin' it.