- Fred Fuchs: Who the fuck goes there? Answer me, tough guy! Or I'll blast a hole in you so big I could stick my cock in it! I mean, I don't wanna brag but..
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: According to my research, Fred Fucks is hiding out specifically in Asia. This must be it.
- Fred Fuchs: You might wanna be a bit nicer about the game, considering the fact that I'm the one with the MOTHERFUCKING RIFLE!
- Fred Fuchs: I like to spread that gameplay experience as much as I can, so I can get the most out of the $10 that you saps pay for this shit.
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: But no ordinary game designer could've created anything so vile and putrid. Something like this requires some high-level excremental expertise. This could only be the work of one person. A person by the name of Fred Fucks.
- Fred Fuchs: I tried to make it true to life. You know, not everything in life is solved with conflict. Sometimes, you just gotta run like hell from your problems.
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: Words of wisdom from Fred Fucks.
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: What, were you fucking stoned when you wrote this?
- Fred Fuchs: [proudly] Yes.
- Fred Fuchs: It's an artistic interpretation of jungle life, you uncultured swine. I'm a goddamn artist and THIS is my masterpiece! Obviously, too artsy-fartsy for your plebeian palette.
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: Aren't you doused in urine?
- Fred Fuchs: [proudly] From head to toe.
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: Oh boy! It stinks!
- Fred Fuchs: It's tiger urine. I soaked my clothes in it. It keeps the other animals away
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: Couldn't you just spray it on the ground?
- Fred Fuchs: Okay, you got me. I like the smell and feel of tiger urine on my clothes. And it makes a great fabric softener. I make a lot of the stuff here.