The Forevers (2020)

Iki Ènèng: Eternal Iki

Quotes 

• Eternal Iki : I can accomplish everything! And that includes big plans like mine, and also pointless tasks, such as being an advisor for a perfect organism!

  Advisor : Thank you so much! That's a wonderful thing of you to say!

  Eternal Iki : You're welcome! You're a great person, don't you ever forget that!

  Advisor : Thank you eleven times for these eleven words! Will you give me a promotion for being a great person?

  Eternal Iki : NO! Promotion, promotion, that's all I hear!

  Advisor : Sorry, I'm just asking for better working conditions. You lock us up at night, and you pay us less than the minimum wage for 12 hours of work every day! And you're not even paying us anything for the time we sleep here! Our sleep is also time spent at the workplace, time at your precious palace!

  Eternal Iki : How can you talk like this to your leader? How can you? Fuck you! You're fired!

  Advisor : You can't fire me on the spot! The great people have made that illegal!

  Eternal Iki : The people have no authority on this planet! I'm making it legal right now. It's legal now. You're fucking fired! Get your stupid ass out of here!

• Eternal Iki : Well, I am an exception, everyone should always follow my example.

  Eko : Because you are so amazing?

  Eternal Iki : Yes, exactly. I wish I could create a whole new world where I'm God.

• Petro, the Psychologist : Interesting. Very interesting. Please sit down.

  Eternal Iki : I am already sitting.

  Petro, the Psychologist : Sorry, I didn't notice. Let me sit down as well.

• Eternal Iki : A long time ago, God said: "Let there be light". So he turned on the switch, and the universe was bright. He said: "My God, it's full of stars!". But God got bored with the universe. The universe was so lonely, so God created eight other universes. But he realized that the distance to travel between them was too far, so he created the train of endlessness to travel around his creation. And because he didn't want to have to leave his tools in heaven, he transformed his tools of almightiness into twelve crystals, and he put each of them into the core of the train's 12 wheels, so he could take his power with him wherever he went. Unfortunately, the devil attacked the train and killed God. The angels were able to fight off the devil, but only after he took eight of the crystals, and spread them across the universe. The four other crystals remained inside the wheels of a ROFLMAO train. The terrorists are after the crystals. They want to gain the power of God!

• [Arriving at the TERFhole] 

  Doctor Kyrylo Weird : Oh my Kyrylo, I'm really scared of these TERFs now, that thing looks AWFUL!

  Eternal Iki : We shouldn't be afraid of the TERFs. Fighting and resisting them is a much better idea.

  Pating Mayor : Isn't this the South Pole? Why is it so green and warm?

  Aqilah : Well, see, these TERFs are so retarded and behind our time that when you get to the TERFhole, you're being thrown back in time a billion years, when Antarctica wasn't yet covered in ice.

• Doctor Kyrylo Weird : Oh my fucking God, those trains are even bigger than the cacti!

  Eternal Iki : Aqilah, can you please break the clutches with your heat vision?

  Aqilah : I have heat vision?

  Eternal Iki : Of course! We are the Forevers, and that means we are superheroes. Just go ahead.

  Aqilah : Okay.

  [Lasers beam out of Aqilah's eyes, and onto the clutches, breaking them] 

  Aqilah : Done!

• Aqilah : Well, I'm working for an antivirus Company called "The Antivirus Company". I test their software. I write computer viruses all day, and then I see if our software prevents these viruses from running or operating.

  Eternal Iki : What is your latest virus called?

  Aqilah : It's called "Fix This Shit".

• Eternal Iki : You are just a bird! How the fuck are you going to defeat us? Fly through us?

  The Repigeonator : No, I have a trick up my sleeves.

  Eternal Iki : Sure. Show us!

  The Repigeonator : I am not just a bird! I am also... A REFRIGERATOR!

  [the Repigeonator morphs from a pigeon into a refrigerator and sucks Iki, the mayor, Aqilah and Kyrylo inside] 

  The Repigeonator : [Screaming]  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

  [the Repigeonator explodes] 

  Aqilah : What the fuck just happened?

  Doctor Kyrylo Weird : I think we defeated the pigeon because we're sick. Because of our temperature, it got too hot in there, and the refrigerator exploded.

• Doctor Kyrylo Weird : Do you know where the three other crystals are? We need to find them before the birds do. The birds murdered a mayor in Nepal, we learned so yesterday. A mayor, like you!

  Pating Mayor : I don't know for sure, but I've heard they can be found at the South Pole, in the TERFhole.

  Eternal Iki : What's a TERFhole?

  Pating Mayor : It's a hole in the Earth, and when you jump in there, there are tons of disgusting people who try to put hateful ideas into your head. They are monsters who want to destroy you. Like their name says, they are assholes from the TERFhole.

  Eternal Iki : Oh my Iki, that sounds like a horrible place!

  Pating Mayor : It is! You should be extremely careful, one TERF can poison an entire society! They are hideous organisms!

  Eternal Iki : We should try. We are brave. And even if we weren't brave, we should try anyway, we need to protect the world from the birds and the TERFs!

  Pating Mayor : Be careful, they made millions of people kill themselves!

  Eternal Iki : We will, we are stronger than these disgusting fuckers!