- Uncle Fester: Oh Lurch, you gotta pay attention. I'm not gonna be there with you when you ask her out, hiding behind the door, telling you what to say, word for word...
- Lurch: Why not?
- Uncle Fester: Because that would be underhanded, deceitful and likely to backfire in our faces in a very predictable fashion.
- [thinks for a moment]
- Uncle Fester: Lets do it!
- Uncle Fester: How many times do I have to tell you? It's not my fault that Elsa threw herself at me. Please don't hate me because I'm beautiful.