David Spade: Self - Host

Quotes 

• David Spade : When a woman ran into a cougar on a hike this weekend, she said she blasted Metallica to successfully scare the animal away. That's weird, because playing Metallica on a hike is usually I attract cougars.

• David Spade : Matt Damon got a tattoo of his children's names on his arm. You know who else got Matt Damon's kids tattooed on his arm? R. Kelly.

  [audience laughs and groans] 

  David Spade : He doesn't even know Matt Damon, I don't even get it.