Green Acres (TV Series)

Lisa's Vegetable Garden (1967)

Eva Gabor: Lisa Douglas

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lisa Douglas : [having found several credits printed on freshly laid eggs]  What's the matter with you chickens? All of your eggs coming out with names on.

• Lisa Douglas : Where do you keep the booze?

  Oliver Wendell Douglas : The booze?

  Lisa Douglas : Well, you know, the bottle you keep for municipal porpoises.

• Oliver Wendell Douglas : Lisa, any school child can figure that out in it's head.

  Lisa Douglas : Well, I didn't go to a head-school. The school I went to, all they told me is to count how many carats there are in a diamond. The way you do that: you find a jeweler...

• Oliver Wendell Douglas : [Lisa has hired Alf and Ralph as domestic help]  Now about the help... Do you want to fire them, or shall I?

  Lisa Douglas : [Alf and Ralph look close to tears]  Why, you wouldn't fire them on Christmas?

  Oliver Wendell Douglas : It's not Christmas!

  Oliver Wendell Douglas : When you proposed to me, you said that every day is going to be like Christmas.

  Oliver Wendell Douglas : [mellows as he remembers and smiles]  Oh, so I did. Merry Christmas, darling.

  [kisses Lisa on the lips, then turns to Alf and Ralph] 

  Oliver Wendell Douglas : You're fired.

  [Alf and Ralph burst out crying] 

• Lisa Douglas : Well, we don't like cucumbers. What other vegetables are there?

  Hank Kimball : Oh, I have a list here as long as my arm.

  [grabs the lists and compares it's length with his right arm] 

  Hank Kimball : No, I guess it's shorter.

  Lisa Douglas : Eh, can I have that?

  Hank Kimball : Well no, I need it to hold my wristwatch on. Oh, heh heh, you mean the list.