Drop the Dead Donkey (TV Series)

Paintball (1993)

Neil Pearson: Dave Charnley

Photos 

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Damien Day : Oh, God.

  Dave Charnley : I'm so bored I could read John Smith's speech on the Constitution. I'll tell you what, a tenner on the first thing George complains about when he arrives.

  Damien Day : Yeah all right. My money says it'll be that one girl death squad he calls his daughter.

• Helen Cooper : Dave, what are you doing?

  Dave Charnley : I'm running a book - on the first letter of the first word that George uses when he comes back from lunch.

  Helen Cooper : Oh, for goodness' sake...

• Dave Charnley : So... do you ever still... like men, then?

  Helen Cooper : In order to be physically attracted to a man these days I either have to be desperate, or blind drunk.

  Dave Charnley : Right.

  [hands her a hip flask] 

  Helen Cooper : Although I must say I feel a stirring every time I see that boy with the tyre in the Levi ads.

  Dave Charnley : Actually, I've got... quite a few pairs of Levis.

  Helen Cooper : Have you got the tyre as well?

• Dave Charnley : I was supposed to be spending this weekend with Fran.

  Helen Cooper : Oh is that the tall blonde aromatherapist? Green Sierra... strawberry-shaped birthmark on the shoulder. Husband works on an oil rig.

  Dave Charnley : How'd you know that?

  Helen Cooper : It was in the newsletter.

  Dave Charnley : I'm sorry, the newsletter?

  Helen Cooper : Joy puts all your adulteries on a floppy disk and prints them out once a month.