- George Dent: [Sally Smedley will be reporting on an international summit] All she has to do is say, "The mood is one of cautious optimism" and flash her cleavage at the camera. A parrot with tits could do it.
- Helen Cooper: [Sally is unable to make an outdoor broadcast without a teleprompter] We're going to have to use idiot-boards.
- Sally Smedley: I think you mean cue-cards.
- Helen Cooper: I know what I mean.
- Sally Smedley: Thank you, George. It's about time I had the opportunity to show my potential as an international correspondent and Acapulco is the perfect place to start. I've always loved Italy.
- Henry Davenport: Do you hear that? Are you serious George?
- George Dent: Does the Pope shit in the woods?
- Helen Cooper: I can't believe I'm saying this, Dave, but while I'm away you'll be in charge of ethics.
- Joy Merryweather: It's in the dictionary, under 'E'.
- Henry Davenport: I'm trying to fill in one of these National Lottery tickets. I thought I'd put down the number of times I had sex last month, but they don't go higher than 49.
- [he laughs]
- Joy Merryweather: Try sticking to the number of times someone else was there.
- Gus Hedges: Brave decision strategies there, George.
- George Dent: Yes...
- Gus Hedges: Not afraid to be disliked - the key to leadership. Believe me, I know.
- [first lines]
- Helen Cooper: And may I remind everyone, we need to be gentle with George this week.
- Dave Charnley: Why?
- Helen Cooper: He's just split up with the love of his life and he's broken hearted.
- Henry Davenport: So?
- [last lines]
- George Dent: Oh, Joy, I'm sorry I shouted at you like that and, uh, docked your wages. I hope you'll accept my humblest apologies.
- Joy Merryweather: All right then.
- George Dent: What are you doing?
- Joy Merryweather: I suppose I better take my scorpion out of your drawer.