Nostalgia Critic (TV Series)

Planet of the Commercials (2019)

Doug Walker: Nostalgia Critic, Chaplin

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Nostalgia Critic : This episode brought to you by COMMERCIALS!

• Nostalgia Critic : [about the PetSter]  Hey, parents, want to put all the hair your Roomba sucks up on top of it and say it's a pet? Enjoy.

• Nostalgia Critic : [about the Cadbury Bunny]  It ain't Easter yet, but chances are you remember this one. The Cadbury Bunny is a trademark every holiday season for the Cadbury Creme Eggs, with his adorable look, constant clucking, and ability to shit candy that tastes like chocolate and, let's be honest, a little like actual shit. Yeah, I know a lot of people liked this product, but I never understood it, especially after watching the commercials. Because, let's face it, the candy never looked as good as it did here. I mean, look at that! It's like if a chocolate could have an orgasm; it looks like the tastiest thing you could imagine! The actual product?

  [with a look of disgust, the Critic opens his own Cadbury Creme Egg, revealing that it looks solid yellow, rather than the white/yellow appearance of a real egg in the commercial] 

  Nostalgia Critic : Well, I'll give it this: it does look like an abandoned pregnancy. Even if you tried to do it delicately, to get that slow, gooey look, it looks like Plastic Man's semen; it's like the most unappealing thing ever! Even the bunny's final cluck sounds like a warning not to buy them! Like, "You'll be sorry!"