One Day at a Time (TV Series)
Bob Loves Barbara (1977)
John Putch: Bob Morton
Quotes
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Dwayne F. Schneider : OK, what's on your mind?
Bob Morton : Well, uh, I heard you were an expert on, uh... women.
Dwayne F. Schneider : [he laughs] An expert? Let me put it this way. If they cut down all the trees they would need to make all the paper they would need to write all that I know about women, Oregon would be bald.
Bob Morton : [he seems perplexed at first, then laughs] Heh, that's funny. Mr Schneider, when you were my age, did you know much about sex?
Dwayne F. Schneider : When I was your age, Oregon's timberline was already receding.
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Ann Romano : Bob, you took Sex Education, didn't you?
Bob Morton : Well, sure. They tried to tell us everything. It's not like in Chemistry class. You don't get a chance to experiment.
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Ann Romano : [Bob is sharing his frustration with his feelings for Barbara] Look, Bob, I'm no expert on girls, God knows, I'm certainly not an expert on boys. Haven't you talked to your father about this?
Bob Morton : Last year. He referred me to my scoutmaster. All I learned from him was never to spit into the wind.