The Good Place (TV Series)
Help Is Other People (2019)
Ted Danson: Michael
Photos
Quotes
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Brent Norwalk : Man, crazy twist, huh? It's like something out of a Chip Driver novel.
Chidi Anagonye : Leave me alone, Brent.
Brent Norwalk : I'm kind of freaking out over here, man. You're my only real friend.
Chidi Anagonye : No, I'm not your friend. I don't even like you.
Brent Norwalk : But you helped me.
Chidi Anagonye : Yeah, I did, because I have this stupid moral code that forces me to help everyone. But you have never helped anyone, because you don't care about other people. Which is the bare minimum that a person has to do, just care a little about the other people around you, and you can't do it.
Brent Norwalk : What are you trying to say here?
Chidi Anagonye : [slowly and deliberately] You are a bad person.
[cut to Eleanor and the rest of the crew watching from outside]
Eleanor Shellstrop : You can do this.
Michael : Come on, dum-dum. Faster.
[long pause]
Brent Norwalk : No, I'm not.
[gets up and backs away from Chidi, eyes widening]
Brent Norwalk : I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not a bad person. I'm not. I'm a good person!
[glances around the room in desperation]
Brent Norwalk : Oh, man... Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no... No, no...
[pause]
Brent Norwalk : Look, Chidi... whatever happens next, I, um... I need to say this to you, all right? I am... I am so, so sor...
[countdown clock reaches zero and the experiment freezes]
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Chidi Anagonye : You're not going to the Best Place! Don't you get it? They're torturing you! They're torturing all of us. Because this is the Bad Place.
[camera zooms in on Eleanor and Michael, who cackle maniacally]
Eleanor Shellstrop : Oh, man! I can't believe you figured it out!
Brent Norwalk : Wait... he's right? This is the Bad Place?
Eleanor Shellstrop : Yeah. Damn it, he's right.
Michael : We had a good run, though, didn't we?
Eleanor Shellstrop : Yeah, we did.
[they both laugh]
Brent Norwalk : So no Best Place?
Eleanor Shellstrop : [mockingly] "Oh, so no Best Place?"
Michael : Oh, Brent, you big white oaf! Never change, bud.
Eleanor Shellstrop : Well, I guess we should let 'em know you guys are on your way.
Michael : Yeah.
Brent Norwalk : Wait. On our way where?
Michael : The actual Bad Place. They let us toy with you a little just for kicks, but now you're going...
[points downward]
Michael : And trust me on this: it's a lot worse.
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Michael : Guys, I think we're cooked. It's over.
Eleanor Shellstrop : No, no way. I am not giving up. I told you, I only play games I can win. And I played this game, so that means we can win.
Janet : I don't think that tracks.
Eleanor Shellstrop : Shut up. What do you know?
Janet : Literally everything, but keep going. I am liking this energy from you.
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Michael : Oh, man. Was this a bad idea? I mean, what if this was a bad idea?
Jason Mendoza : It wasn't, homey. It was a good idea.
Michael : Can anyone else weigh in?
Jason Mendoza : I'm serious. In football, trying to run out the clock and hoping for the best never works. It's called "prevent defense." You don't take any chances and just try and hang on to your lead. But prevent defense just prevents you from winning. It's always better to try something.
Tahani Al-Jamil : [Everyone is silently awed] Jason, that was coherent.
Jason Mendoza : Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to.
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Michael : What else can we try? We've already blown everything up. We can't blow it up again.
Jason Mendoza : If there's one thing I know in this world is that you can always blow up the same thing twice.
