The Simpsons (TV Series)
Homer of Seville (2007)
Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Barney Gumble
Photos
Quotes
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Dr. Hibbert : I just need to make sure your vertebrae are properly aligned. This should take only a minute, and cost about a thousand dollars.
Homer Simpson : [singing operatically] D'oh!
Marge Simpson : That doesn't sound like Homer's usual annoyed grunt.
Dr. Hibbert : Hmm.
Homer Simpson : [singing operatically as Hibbert pokes him in the stomach] D'oh!
[in a lower pitch as Hibbert does so again]
Homer Simpson : D'oh!
Dr. Hibbert : Fascinating. When Homer's on his back, his stomach lodges perfectly under his diaphragm, giving him a powerful singing voice.
Bart Simpson : Is that a real thing?
Lisa Simpson : It is! Tenor Andrea Bocelli recorded an entire song on his back.
Dr. Hibbert : You know, Homer, your singing could help alleviate patient suffering, and save us a fortune in Demerol.
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Marge Simpson : Sir, thank you for saving us. Do you want to come in for some coffee?
Julia : [taking off her helmet and shaking out her hair] That's right, I'm a woman.
Homer Simpson : A lady motorcycle driver? What is this, the Twilight Zone?
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Plácido Domingo : You know, Homer, there is one thing about opera that has always bugged me: everyone sings instead of talking. But you made me believe I was in a magical world where singing *is* talking.
Homer Simpson : Thanks! You know, of the Three Tenors, you're my second favorite. No, wait, I forgot about that other guy. Sorry, you're third.
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Dr. Hibbert : Homer, you have a mild back sprain. And you also ingested a dangerous quantity of grave dirt.
Homer Simpson : Well, you're always telling me I should eat more dirt.
Dr. Hibbert : Not dirt, vegetables!
Homer Simpson : Which grow in what?
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Homer Simpson : So, did you see the show tonight? Remember the part where I forgot the words and I just sang "Uh-oh, Spaghetti-O's"? I'm hoping they send me a case.
Julia : [unzipping her one-piece motorcycle suit] Now listen, Homer. You can have me anytime you want me.
Homer Simpson : [a little frightened] Marge!
Julia : But if you say one word to your wife, I'll tell her you attacked me.
Marge Simpson : [in the kitchen] What is it, sweetie?
Homer Simpson : Um... everyone's wearing clothes in here.
Marge Simpson : That's nice.
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Homer Simpson : I just have one question. What is this movie about?
Director : [face-palming] For the last time, it's not a movie!
Homer Simpson : Excuse me, "film".
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Bart Simpson : [after Homer's opera debut] Dad, you were great!
Lisa Simpson : And you contributed to our culture!
Homer Simpson : Well, I didn't mean to.
Lisa Simpson : No, no. It's a good thing.
Homer Simpson : Oh, good. This makes up for me showing up drunk to the father/daughter dance.
Lisa Simpson : The dance isn't 'til next week.
Homer Simpson : Sorry, Lisa. Can't change the future.
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Homer Simpson : [singing arpeggios to practice his voice] D'oh, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh. Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, whoo-hoo. Stu, stu, stu, stu-pid Flanders.
Ned Flanders : [poking his head in] Why the crescendo, my dear old friend-o?
Homer Simpson : [singing] Get lost, you waste of a mustache.
Ned Flanders : [leaving] Okily-dokily.
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Homer Simpson : [finding a snake in his cereal, he whacks it against the fridge] Ahh! Die, you stupid cobra! Die! Die!
Lisa Simpson : Dad, I think someone's trying to kill you.
Homer Simpson : Who could it be? A disgruntled former employee? Whoever it is, the cobra is their symbol.
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Homer Simpson : Oh, Homer, you've got to try this roast beef au jus.
Homer Simpson : [taking a bite] Mmm! Au jus! Not quite gravy, not quite blood.
Lisa Simpson : Look at the crowd around that table.
Bart Simpson : It must be a make-your-own-sundae bar!
Homer Simpson : [pushing past people] Oh, I can't wait to taste that hot fudge and caramel and crushed nuts all slathered over a delicious... ELDERLY CORPSE?
Lisa Simpson : [mortified] We crashed a funeral!
Marge Simpson : Oh, my god! Quick, everyone put on their long faces.
[the family puts on expressions of sadness]
Marge Simpson : Longer!
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Reverend Lovejoy : This concludes our service. Go now in the peace of the Lord.
Homer Simpson : So long, suckers!
[ushering the family out]
Homer Simpson : Move it, move it, move it! Do you want to be second out of the parking lot? DO YOU?
[Lisa trips]
Homer Simpson : Leave her!
Marge Simpson : We left her last week, and she didn't make it home for dinner!
Homer Simpson : [getting in the car and peeling out] You'll never catch me, Lord!
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Marge Simpson : [after Sunday mass] Well, where should we go for brunch? Griddler on the Roof? Thank God It's Fried Eggs? Luftwaffles? Bodacious Frittatas? Buffet the Hunger Slayer?
Homer Simpson : I wanna say one!
Marge Simpson : Be my guest.
Homer Simpson : Denny's.
[dejected groan]
Homer Simpson : Oh...
Bart Simpson : Every place has such a long line.
Homer Simpson : Don't worry. We'll just go home. Your mother can cook.
Lisa Simpson : I just want a simple salad with pine nuts, haricots verts, seasonal heirloom tomatoes...
Marge Simpson : Forget it! One day a week, I should be able to put on nice clothes and have someone bring food to me.
Bart Simpson : There's a place... with no line!
Homer Simpson : Whoo-hoo!
Lisa Simpson : [seeing a catering van] Bart, that's not a restaurant, it's somebody's house.
Homer Simpson : Lisa's right, son. Your mom is way too classy to crash a private...
Marge Simpson : [crawling through a window in the basement] I'm not cooking!
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Montgomery Burns : The Springfield Opera House, of which I am founder, artistic director, and standing ovation starter, is producing "La Boheme". I want you to sing the lead.
Homer Simpson : But I can only sing lying on my back.
Montgomery Burns : Eh, we'll cover it with a re-write.
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Woman : [the Simpsons accidentally crash a stranger's funeral] My brother twisted his ankle setting up the chairs.
Homer Simpson : [feigning sadness] Will the tragedies that stalk this family never cease?
Woman : Would you like to be a pallbearer?
Homer Simpson : Of course.
[cut to him helping carry the casket]
Homer Simpson : I thought she said "polar bear".
Man : Please, sir, a little respect for the dead.
Homer Simpson : Oh, yes, of course.
[falling into an open grave]
Homer Simpson : Whoa! Oh, my back! It hurts, and not in a good way.
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Homer Simpson : Oh, man, that church service was so boring. I did a whole book of Find-A-Words.
Lisa Simpson : Ugh, dad, all you circled were the "I"s and "A"s.
Homer Simpson : Those are words.
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Homer Simpson : Let me make something very clear: my heart belongs to Marge, and you can never, ever have it. This opera's over when the fat man sings.
Julia : All right, Homer. I understand perfectly. You shall never be mine.
Homer Simpson : That's good. You've calmly accepted that you will never have the only man you could ever love. Now, I think it would be best if you left.
[she heads to the door]
Homer Simpson : Julia, wait!
Julia : [hopeful] Yes?
Homer Simpson : Before you go, could you hire your own replacement?
[whispering]
Homer Simpson : But make sure she's not crazy like you.
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Homer Simpson : Well, that's it. I'm retiring from the opera. It's just too popular. And I know something much more fun I can do on my back.
[at the house, he paints a mural of the family on the ceiling of the family room]
Homer Simpson : Singing opera made me good at painting.
Bart Simpson : Is that a real thing?
Lisa Simpson : No.