- [Rings on a door]
- The Guru Maharishi Yogi: Hello, do you want to be a Hindu?
- Woman: Yes, I have always wanted to become a Hindu.
- The Guru Maharishi Yogi: Well, you can't! Have a nice day!
- [In an English restaurant in India. Ordering some food]
- Indian man 1: . For starter we shall have 6... no 12 bread rolls. For main course everybody?
- Indian Man 2: What's the blandest thing on the menu?
- James the Waiter: The scampi's our specialty sir.
- Indian Man 2: I'll have that.