- Ted Lasso: Hey, Jamie. I heard you're not gonna be able to run with us today. That true?
- Jamie Tartt: Yep.
- Ted Lasso: Why's that?
- Jamie Tartt: 'Cause I'm hurt.
- Ted Lasso: Really sorry to hear that.
- [starts to walk away]
- Jamie Tartt: Relax, Ted. It's just practice.
- [Ted stops walking; locker room goes silent]
- Ted Lasso: Hey. If you can't practice, you can't practice. If you're hurt, you're hurt. It's as simple as that. But it ain't about that... at all. You're sitting in here, you're supposed to be the franchise player. And yet here we are, talking about you missing practice. We're talking about practice. You understand me? Practice. Not a game. Not a game, not the game you go out there and die for, right? Play every weekend like it's your last, right? No, we're talking about practice, man! Practice! You know you're supposed to be out there. You know you're supposed to lead by example. You're just shoving that all aside. And so here we are, Jamie. We're talking about practice. Not a game. Not the game. We're talking about practice, with your team. With your teammates. The only place we get to play together, we got control over. Rest of the time, it's us eleven against those eleven. We're talking about practice, man! I'm talking about practice! And you can't do it, 'cause you're "hurt"! Right? It's fine by me. Tell you what, do me a favor. When you get out there, set up the cones so the other reserves can do a little passing drill.
- [walks off]
- Jamie Tartt: You want me to set up cones?
- Ted Lasso: [over his shoulder] I really appreciate it!
- Ted Lasso: Plan. Plan?
- Coach Beard: Word become a sound?
- Ted Lasso: What's that called again?
- Coach Beard: Semantic satiation.
- Ted Lasso: Yeah.
- Ted Lasso: [bursts into Rebecca's office] You got rid of Jamie?
- Rebecca Welton: Man City recalled him. I told you, Ted, they were concerned he wasn't playing.
- Ted Lasso: I finally got through to him! I mean, you saw it. With him and Dani, we had two aces, Rebecca!
- Rebecca Welton: I thought that was what you wanted.
- Ted Lasso: Yeah, well, you thought wrong!
- [beat]
- Ted Lasso: I'm sorry. I'm sorry for my tone there, okay. That was rude. Look, I'm trying to be cool about this, but I am just seeing red everywhere.
- Rebecca Welton: Well, perhaps you should leave before you say something you'll regret.
- Ted Lasso: [hesitates, then unzips his bag and takes out Rebecca's morning biscuit box] No, actually, you know what? Here you go. Your biscuits. I hope they're not as good as they usually are. Ugh, but dang it, they're the best batch yet! I finally cracked the recipe!
- Sam Obisanya: Coach, is it true that in America you have so many beautiful dogs in pounds that some have to be put down for no reason?
- Ted Lasso: That is true, Sam. But it's also something that a lot of female singer songwriters are trying to change
- Ted Lasso: I feel like we fell out of a lucky tree, hit every branch on the way down, and ended up in a pool of cash and Sour Patch Kids.
- Rebecca Welton: They want Jamie back if you are planning to bench him.
- Ted Lasso: I'm not planning on that. No, my plan is for my plan to work. But you know what they say about the best-laid plans, right?
- [realizing]
- Ted Lasso: Said "plan" too many times. Word's lost all its meaning now. Plan. Plan. Plan. Doesn't matter. Hey, you tell Man City that this man has a plan. Plan. Plan. Plan?
- Rebecca Welton: Plan.
- Ted Lasso: Plan?
- Rebecca Welton: Not plan.
- Ted Lasso: Plan.
- Rebecca Welton: Plan.
- Ted Lasso: Plan.
- Rebecca Welton: Like "flan." Plan.
- Ted Lasso: Flan? That dessert?
- Rebecca Welton: Yes, like "flan."
- Ted Lasso: Yuch. No, I don't dig on flan.
- [Rebecca leaves]
- Ted Lasso: Plan. Plan.
- Keeley Jones: [Walking on treadmill next to Roy's treadmill, where he's reading a book while walking] Lovely weather we've been having, don't you think? Love this time of year. All the smells of fresh leaves.
- Roy Kent: What's happening?
- Keeley Jones: I was just pretending the two of us were on a walk.
- Roy Kent: I'm trying to read.
- Keeley Jones: I've been doing a lot of reading myself actually, recently. I read this mad story about a kid who grew up in this shit part of south London, and he got sent off to play as a child, in Sunderland of all places. And then later he was forced to rap his own verse in a charity single which was called Winner, Winner, Football Dinner!
- Roy Kent: That was for world hunger.
- Keeley Jones: [Pretends sincerity] And I believe it was the cure.
- Roy Kent: How do you know all this anyway, what are you doing now, stalking me?
- Keeley Jones: No, I'm reading all the players' bios - Rebecca's got me in to help with the team PR.
- Roy Kent: Leave me out of it, I'm not one of your show ponies.
- Keeley Jones: You wear a number, trot around while people clap - I wouldn't be too high and mighty about it. Later, Roy.