- Ray Manchester: Not only are you laughing at our scary movie, but you're sitting here eatin' Bro-Maha Steaks right in our faces.
- Jasper Dunlop: Yeah! All we have is candy and popcorn and sodas and donuts and taffy and slushies. I mean, what the heck, man?
- Henry Hart: Okay, first of all, I bought these steaks myself with my own dad's credit card; and, second of all, I don't get scared.
- Ray Manchester: Just flip your visor down and make sure you're wearin' pants.
- Henry Hart: I think you know I'm wearin' pants.
- Ray Manchester: Good.
- Henry Hart: Great.
- Ray Manchester: 'Cause I'm about to scare 'em off.
- Henry Hart: I want... I want something else!
- Ray Manchester: [while dancing to Semi-Charmed Life] To get you through this?
- [Charlotte screams]
- Henry Hart: Seriously?
- Charlotte Page: This is what happens when guys are in charge of stories. The women just stand there and scream.
- [zombies attack Henry]
- Henry Hart: Stop tickling me! Stop tickling me! I'm not gonna be able to stop! I'm gonna pee my pants! Stop, guys, seriously! I'm not kidding, I'm not kidding, I'm not kidding. I will pee my pants if you don't stop tickling me.
- Schwoz: He's not lying! His urinol levels are rising!
- Charlotte Page: [attempting a scary story herself] It was a dark and stormy night.
- Ray Manchester: Mmm.
- Charlotte Page: Just like tonight if tonight were dark and stormy.