- Nathan Shelley: Right. Roy.
- [Roy stands and slowly walks over to face Nathan]
- Roy Kent: Go on. Say what you're gonna say.
- Nathan Shelley: [looks at his notes] Okay...
- [Roy grabs the note sheet, crumples it, and throws it to the floor]
- Roy Kent: Don't read it. Say it to my face.
- [pause]
- Nathan Shelley: The great Roy Kent. You're old now. And slow. And your focus drifts. But your speed and your smarts were never what made you who you are. It's your anger. That's your superpower. That's what made you one of the best midfielders in the history of this league. But I haven't seen it on the pitch at all this season, Roy. I mean, you used to run like you were angry at the grass. You'd kick the ball like you'd caught it fucking your wife, for Christ's sake. But that anger doesn't come out anymore when you play. But it's still in there. And I'm afraid of what it's gonna do to you if you just keep it all for yourself.
- Ted Lasso: [the team is about to watch The Iron Giant] Hey, do me a favor. Keep an eye on these guys, 'cause around the 74 minute mark, there's gonna be a room full of grown men crying.
- Coach Beard: [Grabs a box of tissues and places them in front of himself] I'll be one of 'em.
- Flo 'Sassy' Collins: So, what's Marlboro Man's story then? 'Cause I kinda wanna grab him by the ears and ride that little mustache like a Jet Ski.
- Paul John Pope: [Concierge desk at the hotel in Liverpool] Hi, how can I help you?
- Ted Lasso: Hey, how ya doing? I was wondering if y'all had a fax machine.
- Paul John Pope: [laughing] Fax machine?
- [sees that he's serious]
- Paul John Pope: Oh, okay. Um, that's a good question. If you bear with me a second, I'll just check with a colleague and see what I can find out.
- Flo 'Sassy' Collins: A fax machine, eh? Are you sending something to the year 1997?
- Ted Lasso: Yeah, just a little note to myself telling me to buy Apple stock.
- Flo 'Sassy' Collins: Oh. Good idea. Can you tell me to murder J.K. Rowling and write the first Harry Potter book as well?
- Ted Lasso: Can do, yeah. I'll probably write "handle" instead of "murder," so there's no paper trail. Yeah, I'm Ted, by the way.
- Flo 'Sassy' Collins: Oh. Sassy.
- Ted Lasso: Sassy, huh? Like the Smurf, right?
- Flo 'Sassy' Collins: Don't think there was a Sassy Smurf, was there?
- Ted Lasso: That's too bad. Seems like a Smurf with an attitude would've been a lot of fun to watch.