Nikki Cox: Tiffany Malloy

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Ryan Malloy : What's wrong, sis? You look pale. You okay?

  Tiffany Malloy : No. I gave blood. And of course, then I fainted, and they had to give it back. You know, I really don't think my blood would be happy in a sick person's body.

  [slaps her arm where the needle had been:] 

  Tiffany Malloy : Welcome back!

• Bunny : [cheerleader enters school library]  Right! Come on, everyone! Let's see some school spirit!

  [starts doing cartwheels] 

  Ryan Malloy : Oh, boy, I love that Bunny Muffovich.

  [to Tiffany:] 

  Ryan Malloy : You know, there's something about a girl upside-down in a pleated skirt that makes you wanna drive a big truck.

  [as Tiffany looks at him:] 

  Ryan Malloy : You know, over a bridge. Or maybe through a tunnel. Yeah, a tunnel!

  Tiffany Malloy : Well... Go talk to her!

  Ryan Malloy : I'm gonna go talk to her! How do I look? Nose clear?

  [tilts his head back] 

  Tiffany Malloy : [has little flashlight handy]  Uh, just keep your head down.

  Ryan Malloy : [approaches blonde girl]  Hello, dear. Would you allow me to, uh, buy you a cookie, or some turn of the century peanut butter crackers?

  Bunny : You honestly think I'd eat something with you?

  Ryan Malloy : I was just being polite. Shall we go right to bed?

  Bunny : I'm sorry, I'm busy every night for the rest of my life.

  [turns her back on Ryan] 

  Tiffany Malloy : [Ryan slumped back to her dejectedly]  Well?

  Ryan Malloy : She's busy every night.

  Tiffany Malloy : That is so rude! You went to the trouble of keeping your head down for her. The least she can do is come up with a believable excuse for you. You go back over there and you make her *work* to turn you down!

  Ryan Malloy : [marches back, confronts the girl]  Busy doing *what?*

  Bunny : I work.

  Ryan Malloy : All right. Well, I'll come visit you at work.

  Bunny : You can't! Because I'm a... I'm a... a... a vampire slayer!

  Ryan Malloy : A vampire slayer? Well, I killed a vampire once. Actually, it was a vampire cat. No, it was a vampire kitten. No, it was just a regular kitten. A wuvable widdle kitten.

  [raises up his face] 

  Ryan Malloy : Little squished kitty in heaven, please forgive Ryan...!

  Bunny : If you'll excuse me, I have to go somewhere where you aren't.

  [does more cartwheels] 

  Bunny : Go, Northridge!

  Ryan Malloy : [notices banana peel lying on floor, and his thoughts are heard:]  No! No! Bunny the Slayer might slip and get hurt. Must save. I know, I'll knock the banana peel out of the way with these marbles.

  [which of course has disastrous consequences] 

• Tiffany Malloy : I hate vampires! I know it's irrational, I know it doesn't make any sense, but I know it's true! Vampires exist! How else do you explain Yoko Ono and Priscilla Presley living off the dead? I don't like vampires!

  Ryan Malloy : Yeah, but they like you. They go for pale virgins, you know. Much different from your average guy.

  Tiffany Malloy : [as her little brother enters]  Hey, Ross, do you believe in vampires?

  Ross Malloy : Of course I do. How else do you explain Yoko Ono and Priscilla Presley living off the dead?

• Ryan Malloy : I've been given special powers.

  Tiffany Malloy : Oh, no! I'm not gonna sing another damn theme song. Remember when you were Lightning Boy?

  Tiffany Malloy : [from last year]  Mild-mannered Ryan was sitting in the rain / when he got struck by lightning and now he's still the same / he's Lightning Boy...

  Ryan Malloy : I like it!

  Ryan Malloy : This is different. That Lightning Boy thing was just a... a big misunderstanding. This time I've been chosen. I'm gonna kill vampires!

  Tiffany Malloy : [hesitantly]  Vampires?

  Ryan Malloy : I'm Ryan - Vampire Slayer. I know you're gonna roll your eyes and tell me there's no such thing as vampires.

  Tiffany Malloy : Oh, no, I believe in vampires. As a matter of fact, I'm deathly afraid of vampires. I have been ever since I was a little girl.