Photos
Quotes
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Lucifer Morningstar : [as Chloe calls] Speak of the Devil's girlfriend.
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Lucifer Morningstar : Look, I know you two are useless when it comes to women. But Daniel, you surely should have some sort of self-help mumbo jumbo advice for me.
Dan Espinoza : You want my advice?
Lucifer Morningstar : Sadly, yes.
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Chloe Decker : [Referring to the victim] Okay, Ella, what do we have?
Ella Lopez : BlueBallz.
Lucifer Morningstar : You, too?
Ella Lopez : No. Blue Ballz, with a "Z".
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Lucifer Morningstar : The Detective is a detective, so I'm being a mystery.
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Chloe Decker : We're not... normal.
Lucifer Morningstar : No.
Chloe Decker : We... we're us. And we're... incredible.
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Lucifer Morningstar : I must admit, he may be the one DJ who has even a modicum of talent. But then again, his ludicrous name negates that. I mean, "Karnal"? Really? Must everything be about sex?
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Belinda Roberts : [Tracking rattlesnakes] Do you know how long I have been waiting for copulation?
Lucifer Morningstar : You and me both.
Belinda Roberts : Clearly, you're not aware of how rare sound recordings of rattlesnake sex are?
Lucifer Morningstar : Well, it's not my strong suit, no.
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Lucifer Morningstar : This whole relationship nonsense... How am I supposed to know what she's thinking?
Dan Espinoza : That's man's eternal question, bro.
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Chloe Decker : Hey, what's with all the gift baskets?
Jed Carnal : They're from my fans. They found out my place blew up, and they've been sending me stuff from all around the world. It's crazy how devoted they are.
Lucifer Morningstar : Devoted to you? Yes, that is crazy.
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Jed Carnal : In hindsight... that's when the relationship was at its best.
Lucifer Morningstar : Better without sex? Not relatable.
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Ella Lopez : The current travels through the wire and into his skin. Now, you add sea air and his sweat, perfect combo for maximum voltage.
[Gasps]
Ella Lopez : Oh! That'd be a sick DJ name.
Lucifer Morningstar : All DJs are sick, if you ask me.
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Dan Espinoza : [about Jed] I swear, there's a part of Chloe that will never get over his stupid chiseled face.
[Off Lucifer's look]
Dan Espinoza : Sorry, man.
Lucifer Morningstar : There's no need to apologize. The detective had a child with you, and I've never felt the slightest bit threatened.
[Looks at Jed]
Lucifer Morningstar : You're right. He does have a stupid face.
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Lucifer Morningstar : Careful. I know how to handle snakes.
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Amenadiel : [Charlie is crying incessantly] If you're going to stay... You have any ideas how to stop this?
Lucifer Morningstar : Have you tried whiskey?
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Chloe Decker : Electrocuting a colleague? Blowing up his own studio? No one would go that far just to be near me.
Lucifer Morningstar : Well, I did go to Hell and back for you, twice, but who's counting?
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Jed Carnal : It's scary seeing another DJ die. Makes you realize life's short.
Lucifer Morningstar : Some not short enough.
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Chloe Decker : Jed, meet Lucifer.
Lucifer Morningstar : "Jed"?
Jed Carnal : Yeah, it's my real name. What's yours?
Lucifer Morningstar : [Scoffs]