- [last lines]
- Stan Smith: Hey, you still play golf, right?
- Brett Morris: Stan, I'm a Satanist, not a poor person.
- Roger: [laughs] Oh, my God! Stan has no friends! And he didn't even realize! He's like America, THE GUY!
- Stan Smith: I'm having a spiritual crisis. What do you do when your best friend doesn't believe in God?
- Father Donovan: Well Stan, we're hardly best friends.
- Roger: Hello, Sharper Image? Yeah, give me three Sopranos pinball machines, the radio golf ball, a floating ant farm, a flashlight hammer to smash the ants with if they piss me off...
- Stan Smith: God is my co-pilot! And the Virgin Mary is the hot stewardess! Ding! More peanuts, Mary!
- Roger: I was just taking a midnight stroll when I saw what looked like a magical owl fly by and... oh! Look at that! It's right here, and it's carrying a letter!
- [Steve opens the letter and gasps]
- Roger: What does it say?
- Steve Smith: It says I've been admitted to Hogwarts School of Wizardry! The gypsy was right! I am special!
- Roger: [snickering] And here I was thinking you were just a gullible idiot.
- Steve Smith: [walking in a carnival with Roger] You spent all your money trying to win a hat with antlers?
- Roger: [angrily] I do not choose to discuss it.
- Fortune Teller: [pointing at Steve] I see a very lucky boy.
- Steve Smith: Wow, really? Will you tell my fortune?
- Roger: Steve, before she tells you your future, let me tell you her past: forty years of alcoholism and three doctorless abortions.
- Fortune Teller: You are a sad, angry little person.
- Steve Smith: That's uncanny!
- Fortune Teller: What would you like to know?
- Steve Smith: Uhm... I don't know. I guess just if there's anything special about me or...
- Fortune Teller: Yes! You are special. I - I see it!
- Steve Smith: Wow!
- Roger: Steve, she's just repeating whatever you say.
- Steve Smith: You're just jealous because I'm special and you're not. You're boring and regular.
- [walks off]
- Roger: Uh! "Regular"? Oh, Steven... I'm going to hurt you so bad.
- [to the fortune teller]
- Roger: I got a question about the future: you see yourself taking a shower ever?