- Rusty Cartwright: Right now it's like we're a boy band... and I'm the fat one.
- Casey Cartwright: [serious] It's pronounced fa-tone.
- Rusty Cartwright: These are my pledge brothers. Right now, it's like we're a boy band and I'm the fat one.
- Casey Cartwright: It's pronounced Fatone.
- Calvin: What is she doing with him? She must like guys with personality.
- Dale: I don't know. He doesn't look that hideous to me.
- Calvin: Oh! So you find him attractive?
- Dale: Well, his got good bone structure.
- Calvin: Wait! It all makes sense!
- Dale: What?
- Calvin: Oh, Dale. Have you ever thought that the reason you're trying to turn me straight is because, deep down inside, you might be gay?
- Dale: That's ridiculous...
- Calvin: Just look at the evidence: you don't have sex with women, you like to knit, you appreciate the male form... and I've seen you run, it's a little bit squishy.
- Dale: I don't like what you're implying!