- Tommy copes with the loss of his father and a new man in Janet's life. Sheila finds a different way to deal with her issues while Sean, Franco, and Mike concoct a surefire way to get rich and laid.
- Michael Gavin's funeral. Everyone sniffles. Tommy wears shades, and jeans. Janet will host the wake.
Tommy is left alone with the casket. He picks an ax up off the flower display and hacks into the casket, then dumps the bottle of booze someone left in it and torches the whole thing. And then he snaps out of his reverie at Valerie's house. She nags him to walk his dog.
An abandoned apartment building burns. Tommy leads the way. They're looking for squatters. The ceiling collapses behind them, blocking their exit. They find a man sleeping on the floor. Needles gives directions via walkie outside. One door is welded shut, they look for an unmarked stairwell. The squatter pulls a knife on Franco, who disarms him with a nice right hook.
Lou leads them to what they think is a doorway behind shelves filled with boxes. All is calm. Until things start exploding. The boxes seem to be filled with fireworks. They run for cover as sparklers and fire crackers go off like the Fourth of July. As Needles directs Lou to the ladder outside the window, somebody pitches over the side of it and hangs on for dear life. Inside, they run for the ladder as blue, green and yellow sparks shoot off behind them.
Cut to the kitchen table. Mike has found a sparkler and is entertaining himself like a kitten with a ball of yarn. Sean shares that he knew a guy in high school who put a roman candle in his bum and right as he went to light it, he blew a giant fart. And? They ask. "Nearly singed my eyebrows off," Sean says.
They all share bad firework stories, including a guy Franco knew who lost a certain male part and they now call him Han Solo. This leads Tommy to ask them to decide if they had to lose a ball or eye, which would they pick. Black Shawn won't vote because he's scared of fireworks and not dumb enough to touch them. Behind him, Lou lights a firework. It goes off like gunshots.
Chief Feinberg and Needles pass each other on the way out. He gives Needles a pep talk, forbidding no more "crazy a--- crap." He also compliments Tommy, who thinks maybe this means he's over the section 8 stuff.
Tommy arrives at Janet's. She doesn't want to let him in. He storms in anyway. He brought her child support payments, but tells her the way his hearing is going, he might need her money. Tommy walks into the living room, babbling about nothing, failing to notice a dude sitting on the couch. Janet introduces Dwight (Michael J. Fox). He sticks out his hand for Tommy to shake, but doesn't get up. It's news to him that Tommy's a firefighter. He doesn't come up much with Janet, Dwight tells Tommy. Dwight thought of being a firefighter when he was a kid, everybody does, he says, but he grew out of it. He talks about how they fight fires once or twice a month and the rest of the time, sitting around picking their butts. He asks if they have a dalmation and then admits he's just trying to diffuse the tension. He invites Tommy to sit, but Janet runs him out.
Sean, Mike and Franco go to a club. Mike wants to give his $150,000 inheritance from his mother away. He's already promised it to the cancer society. They tell him he'd be a jerk to give it to them for postage. Sean has a better idea: they should open a bar. Mike asks if he's providing the money, what are they? Sean says he'd be the brains and Franco can be the brawn because he's big, Puerto Rican and scary. Mike agrees, as long as he gets to name the place. Shaun says no, but Mike's in anyway.
Tommy complains to cousin Mickey at an AA meeting about how Dwight wouldn't get up to shake his hand. Mickey tells Tommy that Maggie found old home movies and he thinks they should have a screening. The guy running the meeting calls for sponsors. Mickey berates Tommy to raise his hand, saying it be good for him, but Tommy puts it down when the hot chick pairs up. He waves off the guy who was interested.
Tommy and Valerie play naughty librarian, but she bores quickly. That, and the dog won't stop staring at them. She decides she's bored midway through and walks away.
Tommy calls Colleen. She's sitting in bed and gets off the phone with him as fast as possible. Black Shawn sits up in bed next to her. He thinks they should tell Tommy. She says sure, then asks how he wants her to dispose of his remains.
Needles runs up to Tommy at the firehouse, telling him they put a whole bunch of fireworks in Black Shawn's car and they're going to go off like crazy when he gets in. Tommy reminds him that Feinberg's been on him to be more responsible. So is he going to come watch or not? Well, yea, Tommy says. Just then Feinberg walks in, asking if Tommy got a haircut. He gives him a slap on the butt. Black Shawn walks to his car. Sheila calls and in the distance fireworks go off. She says someone from his headquarters called about his Section 8 hearing. She says she needs to see him immediately.
They have lunch. She complains about Damian wanting to drop out of school. He catches her texting. She says she's taking notes for her drama/acting/therapy class. She's seeing a psychodramatist. Or something. It's about healing past traumas by re-enacting big moments in her life. Tommy thinks it's about him.
Sheila talks to someone about needing to change her life and not sleeping with someone anymore. She tells Tommy not to be like that. Then she's screaming at Tommy saying he sucks. Her therapist, who she was actually talking to, asks how it felt. She loved it. She busts him staring at her chest. He says it's Tommy staring.
Black Shawn tries to feel Lou out on how Tommy might feel if someone were doing something behind his back. Lou guesses that he's sleeping with Colleen. Yes, but that's it. He's looking for a real relationship. He wants the sex to have value. "Well, your life is on the line -- that has value," Lou says. Black Shawn says: "The next a-- I tap is the a-- I marry." Lou thinks that's sweet.
Feinberg washes his hands next to Tommy in the bathroom, being overly nice. Then he corners him, telling him his review is set for Tuesday.
The Gavin's watch home movies and miss Tommy's dad. Mickey fondly remembers his dog Bootsie. After, they look to hear what Tommy has to say. He calls his dad an a-hole and them a-holes for crying over him. He's not one of those guys who thinks someone's a saint just because they kicked the bucket. His dad never once said he was proud of him, or went to one of his hockey games. He never said he was a good baseball player. (That's because Tommy's not, Uncle Teddy says.) He got six innings of nice with his dad at the ball game and then he dropped dead. Futhermore, Tommy says, Mickey's dear Bootsie was terrible dog who crapped in the pantry. He leaves with a "good night, a-holes."
Tommy walks into a church. The priest says thank god he's there, someone's gone mad. Mickey stands, drunk at the altar, covered in what looks like blood. It's a baptism. He suggests they just drown the baby as he drinks out of the cup.
Tommy gets him outside, where Mickey takes out another bottle. Tommy suggests he quit, but Mickey says it's his bender, it's over when he says it's over. He saw a dog get hit by an SUV that morning. He took it to a vet but it died on the way. He started thinking about Bootsie. Then he saw a liquor store across the street. Then he saw those people going into the church like sheep and he had to tell them its all a crock. Tommy distracts him by trying to remember how many times Bootsie actually crapped in the pantry.
Mickey says it doesn't matter what they do in this life, who they hurt the lies they tell, "unless you push it to extremes, Hitler on one side, Christ on the other, nobody cares, were all just tiny specks of vapor in the vast infinitesimal filtering slurry of human experience."
Tommy says that's not what he meant at all, and he's never used the word "slurry" in his life. Mickey takes full responsibility, except that it is kind of Tommy's fault, he says. Mickey tosses his bottle to the ground, he's done.
Sean tells Tommy they bought a bar. Franco corrects him: Mike bought a bar and he's going to watch Sean screw it up.
Firecrackers go off and Black Shawn comes racing in. Enough already, he says. Feinberg tells them a French journalist is going to visit, she's doing a book on the tenth anniversary of 9/11.
An alarm goes off. They check an apartment. Inside cans of something start exploding. Feinberg tells Lou to speed it up, they have water issues. Inside, Garrity falls backwards down the stairs. He's hurt. They get him out and have to let the building burn, the hydrants are dry. Tommy and Franco look up and see a man leaning out the window, waving a white sheet. Feinberg won't let them go up and get him. They watch as he falls back into the burning building. The crew stands and watches the building go up in flames.
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