- Dennis Reynolds: Where am I having dinner tonight, Frank? I'm kind of in the mood for Asian fusion.
- Frank Reynolds: No more dinners. We're going straight to bangin' from now on. Check this out.
- [shows Dennis his newspaper ad]
- Dennis Reynolds: Jesus Christ, man.
- Frank Reynolds: What, you got a problem?
- Dennis Reynolds: Yeah. This makes me seem like a whore.
- Frank Reynolds: You are a whore.
- Dennis Reynolds: I'm not a whore, I'm a handsome companion who goes to nice dinners with fancy women, and who has rules about what he'll do. I mean, what happened to the rules, Frank?
- Frank Reynolds: You can still have your rules.
- Dennis Reynolds: It says right here "no rules"!
- Sal: Explain to me why my wife is calling me telling me that one of Pussy Hands' friends tried to force himself on her.
- Mac, Dennis Reynolds, Charlie Kelly: Oh! Oh! Oh!
- Anthony: This guy?
- Mac: Oh! Oh! That's crazy!
- Anthony: Enough with the "oh"s!
- Frank Reynolds: Your "Jane" is sitting over there.
- Dennis Reynolds: Aw, you gotta be kid- Her? Dude, she's like a hundred years old.
- Frank Reynolds: 68 tops.
- Dennis Reynolds: That's still extremely old. I'm not kissing that.
- Frank Reynolds: Nah, you don't have to kiss her. We can make that one of your rules.
- Dennis Reynolds: This time nothing with the ass, 'cause that got really weird last time, alright?
- Frank Reynolds: What are you talkin' about?
- Dennis Reynolds: You didn't set up that ass play on the last one?
- Frank Reynolds: No, I never set up any ass play.
- Dennis Reynolds: Alright. Well, I wanna set up a doctor's appointment anyway, just to be safe.
- Frank Reynolds: Alright. Do that.
- Mac: Frank, he cannot bang this woman. It's the mob boss's wife.
- Frank Reynolds: Oh, what do you think she's gonna do, call her husband and say she's bangin' a whore? Dennis, up those stairs!
- Sal: [after being paid] Okay. Well, that was close.
- Dennis Reynolds: Yeah, it seemed close.
- Mac: It got a little stressful there.
- Johnny: A little tense.
- Mac: "Tense" is an excellent word for what happened.
- Charlie Kelly: I'm asking hypothetical questions here, come on.
- Dee Reynolds: I'm sorry! I'm a little bit preoccupied with being worried about being killed by the mob because a homeless priest ran off with all of our drugs!