Corner Gas (TV Series)

Dark Circles (2007)

Fred Ewanuick: Hank Yarbo

Quotes 

• Hank Yarbo : I'm gonna fake some UFO crop circles tonight, freak people out. You want in?

  Brent Leroy : Intriguing. How do we do it?

  Hank Yarbo : Well, we...

  Brent Leroy : You lost me.

• Hank Yarbo : Cop station's back that way.

  Karen Pelly : I'm taking you to clean up that fake crop circle you burnt into Booch's field. Can't believe I fell for that.

  Hank Yarbo : [snickering]  Pretty good, eh? Wait, I didn't BURN a circle in Booch's field.

  Karen Pelly : Well, if you didn't, then...

  Hank Yarbo : Then what?

  Karen Pelly : Hey, you don't think...

  Hank Yarbo : Think-think what?

  [realizes] 

  Hank Yarbo : Oh my God! Karen, you're not gonna believe what I'm about to tell you!

  Karen Pelly : That aliens made the burn marks?

  Hank Yarbo : No!... But that does make more sense.

• Brent Leroy : You spent the night making dirt circles.

  Hank Yarbo : Well, I can't wait for crops. I wanna freak people out now.

  Brent Leroy : So pretend to read a book.

  Hank Yarbo : Huh?

  Brent Leroy : Look, you don't have to do much to rattle people. Like I'm wearing this new shirt. Suddenly everybody's all edgy and nervous around me. I'm playing it up too, being all sullen and aloof like the Fonz.

  Hank Yarbo : Huh. What kind of book?

  Brent Leroy : [sigh]  Doesn't matter. Just make sure you're holding it right-side up.

  Hank Yarbo : Eh, sounds complicated. I'm sticking with the UFO thing.

• Hank Yarbo : Hey, is Brent around? Gotta talk to him about something.

  Wanda Dollard : Okay then. Off you go.

  Hank Yarbo : Yeah it's, uh, kind of a secretive thing.

  Wanda Dollard : Okay then. Off you go.

  Hank Yarbo : I mean I'd tell you too, Wanda. But every time I tell you about one of my plans... not that this is a plan, necessarily... but you know, you make fun of me.

  Wanda Dollard : [offended]  That's not fair. I don't just make fun of your plans. I make fun of your clothes, and your truck. I make fun of how broke you are, and the stupid things you say, and the weird smell that comes off you sometimes.

  [hurt] 

  Wanda Dollard : Don't I?

  Hank Yarbo : True.

  Wanda Dollard : So then you'll have to admit: I'm pretty fair and well-rounded about it.

  Hank Yarbo : Yeah okay, you got a point there. I'm sorry I came down so hard on you.

  Wanda Dollard : Apology accepted.

• Hank Yarbo : Hey, anyone mention those mysterious crop circles over at Booch's farm? Eh? Heh heh. Karen's gonna be freaked out. I made 'em last night.

  Brent Leroy : It's the middle of May. I mean correct me if I'm wrong, but if you wanna make crop circles, don't you need a crop?

  Hank Yarbo : There's crops. Kinda.

  [Cut to Hank trying to make crop circles in a field of dirt]