- Naboo: Oh and Howard, I don't care what you do on your own time, don't advertise it on the front of the shop.
- Howard Moon: What? That wasn't me! It was graffiti artists!
- Bollo: No smoke without fire.
- Howard Moon: Why does everyone keep saying that? What about smoke machines?
- Bollo: [shrugs] Dry ice.
- The Hitcher: [leers] Do I look like a reasonable man to you, or a peppermint nightmare?
- Howard Moon: [timidly] The first one?
- The Hitcher: Wrong.
- The Hitcher: [to Howard Moon] You oughta be careful boy - there's alotta weirdos around 'ere, lotta nasty people...
- [leers]
- The Hitcher: ... lotta nutters. But I'm gonna protect you boy. 'Cos I love you. In fact if you weren't a geezer I'd be rapin' you be'ind the counter right now.
- Dennis: Would you be quiet, please. I can't hear my internal TomTom. We appear to be lost.
- Tony Harrison: Oh, you are useless!
- Dennis: Well, I'm more than happy to let someone else drive.
- Tony Harrison: I can't drive! I'm shitfaced!
- Saboo: Yeah, like if you were sober, you could drive anyway. You can't even reach the pedals, you cleft.
- Tony Harrison: How dare you. I've got a heavy goods license. There's no one here who's got more miles under their belt than me!
- Saboo: Look, save it, you pinky wafer. Let Kirk drive.
- Dennis: Kirk can't drive. He's a renowned ram-raider.
- Saboo: Kirk? Is it true that you've become a vehicular menace; mowing down all in your path?
- Kirk: Yes.
- Tony Harrison: Can we stop? I need a wee-wee.
- Dennis: We were only just in the service station.
- Tony Harrison: I know, but I didn't need to go then! I'm not a machine, I've got a weak bladder!
- Saboo: You are a bladder.
- Tony Harrison: Anyway, it's not my fault. I couldn't reach the pee-trough! I asked you to pick me up; you just shunned me!
- Dennis: I'm sorry, but I do not stoop to pick up men in the urinals.
- Saboo: ...that's not what I've heard.
- Tony Harrison: Ohhhh! You walked right into it!
- All Shamen: [singing] We are super magic men/We stay up till five A.M.!/Although we're bound by shaman lords/What goes on tour, stays on tour!
- The Board of Shamen: We are super magic men/We stay out 'til five A.M./Though we live by Shamen laws/What goes on tour, stays on tour.
- The Hitcher: [in Victorian-Electro song] The past and future, combining to make something not quite as good as either.
- The Hitcher: [randomly playing chords on the piano] EELS! EELS! EELS! Join in with me, boy.
- Howard Moon: [timidly] Eels?
- The Hitcher: Yeah, It's a good one, ain't it?
- Howard Moon: We're in trouble. We've got to get out of town.
- Vince Noir: Just calm down and tell me what happened.
- Howard Moon: This man came into the shop, a cockney! He urinated in my face, and...
- [turns to camera]
- Howard Moon: we've seen all this. Can we just cut to something else while I explain it?
- [cuts to a game of Pong for a few seconds]
- Howard Moon: ...We've got to get a thousand Euros by midnight or we're dead!
- [turns to camera]
- Howard Moon: Thank you.
- [the Pong game beeps off-screen in response]
- Elanor: We're too old to be playing these games!
- Howard Moon: I'm sorry, you've completely got the wrong... what do you mean "old"?
- Howard Moon: But we had an arrangement...
- Vince Noir: Oh, boo-hoo the arrangement! Do I look like a reasonable man to you?