The Ren & Stimpy Show (TV Series)

Stimpy's Cartoon Show (1994)

Billy West: Ren Höek, Stimpy, Explodey, Poopy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Wilbur J. Cobb : [on the phone, with his chair turned away from Ren and Stimpy]  Listen, I own this town! Melted from scratch out of bale wire, and blastin' caps!

  Stimpson J. Cat : Ah-h-h-hem!

  Wilbur J. Cobb : Later, babe. I got a 12 PM, I can't do lunch.

  [Cobb turns around to reveal he's speaking not into a phone, but into a seashell] 

  Wilbur J. Cobb : Thursday? Yeah, yes, I'll get right under it.

  [Cobb sets down the seashell, and a crab craws into his ear] 

  Wilbur J. Cobb : Well well, girlies, what can ya do for me?

  Stimpson J. Cat : Uh, uh, here is the cartoon movie I have brought to show you. I hope you...

  Wilbur J. Cobb : Ssssh! The walls have teeth. Us Italians have to stick together, ya know. Now, what is it ya have for me?

  [Cobb takes off his glasses, which takes his eyes with them] 

  Stimpson J. Cat : My, my film?

  Wilbur J. Cobb : The film! The film, of course, the film! Have I ever told you how we made that film? We spent hundreds of millions of hours and dollars on that film, and, and it was a lot of cra, a bunch of cra, a, a whole bunch of cra, a lot of...

  Stimpson J. Cat : Uh, "crap"?

  Wilbur J. Cobb : No! Walter Lantz! No account son of a busdriver. Hahaha. Now get this...

  [as Cobb stands up, his arms fall off] 

  Wilbur J. Cobb : If you want to be a genius, it's easy: All you gotta say is, "Everything stinks." Then, you're never wrong. That's how much of a genius I am! That's how I got to where I am today!

  [Cobb briefly flashes a G-string] 

  Wilbur J. Cobb : Then, we got smart. We are not, will not, be the janitor of these starry-eyed amateurs.

  [hacks so hard, his dentures fly out of his mouth and into Ren's mouth] 

  Wilbur J. Cobb : World War I: There I was, up to my elbows in Nazis. Now, don't get me wrong: I'll eat just about anything, just so long as it's easy to swallow.

  [Ren struggles and swallows the dentures] 

  Wilbur J. Cobb : Now, to make a moving picture, ya gotta have two things: Pushers and shovers. Oh, we made mistakes, but I don't regret it, no sir.

  [Cobb's right ear slides off his face and onto Stimpy] 

  Wilbur J. Cobb : Fortunately, everybody can't be a chief. The chief is not only the right-hand man, but also the left-hand man. He is the short man, he is the tall man! From one man to another, he is no man whatsoever! Ya got that, shorty?

  [Ren winces at Cobb's bad breath. Cobb notices Stimpy is holding his ear; Stimpy wears it as an impromptu hat and laughs nervously] 

  Wilbur J. Cobb : Now get this: They either got it, or they don't got it. But gosh darn it, I can hold my water! Until the masses cry, "Cheat the plate!" And I say unto them, "Let the doves free!"

  ["Hallelujah Chorus" plays] 

  Wilbur J. Cobb : Any questions?