- Buddy Bears: Oh, we are the Buddy Bears, we're here to teach you stuff/ Learning lots and lots of facts is never ever rough/ If you don't know everything you haven't learned enough/ Oh, we are the Buddy Bears, we're here to teach you stuff!
- Garfield: This isn't educational TV! This is Garfield!
- Bertie Buddy Bear: James Garfield was the 20th President of the United States.
- Garfield: They're driving me bananas!
- Billy Buddy Bear: Bananas are an excellent source of potassium.
- Garfield: You're driving me bats!
- Bobby Buddy Bear: Bats are flying mammals with excellent night vision.
- Garfield: I'm at the end of my rope!
- Bertie Buddy Bear: Rope is usually made from the fibers of the hemp plant.
- Garfield: I've got to get someplace safe!
- Billy Buddy Bear: The safe was invented in 1831.
- Billy Buddy Bear: Garfield is not speaking Italian. He's speaking bad English with a bad Italian accent.
- Bobby Buddy Bear: Do you know what goes into a chocolate cupcake? It contains sugar, enriched flour, baking powder, and various artificial coloring and flavorings to simulate the taste and appearance of chocolate.
- Garfield: [sniffs cupcake] Hey, it does smell like thiamine mononitrate!