Garfield and Friends (TV Series)

Sound Judgement/Gross Encounters/The Perils of Penelope (1992)

Lorenzo Music: Garfield

Quotes 

• [while searching the sound effects department, Garfield finds a letter attached to a chair] 

  Garfield : [reads letter]  "Dear Somebody, I quit. Got better offer doing sword noises for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Take your crummy job and..."

  [crumbles the letter] 

  Garfield : Well, we don't have to read the rest of this.

• Garfield : This is terrible. Where are we gonna find someone stupid enough to take the sound effects job?

  [Odie appears] 

  Odie : Ta-da!

  Garfield : Does he know an Odie cue or what?

• Garfield : [as Odie messes up the sound effects]  Oh, boy. This is what you get when you hire someone who used to rent his brain out to model for raisins.

• Garfield : Stay out of my bed, Nermal, or it's the redeye to Abu Dhabi for you.

  Nermal : Gee whiz, Garfield. You're so mean to me.

  Garfield : [pulls out a sheet of paper]  It's in my job description. See? "Eating, sleeping, being mean to Nermal."

• Nermal : You'll probably even be upset I ate all the lasagna in the kitchen.

  Garfield : I don't care what you do, just as long as you don't... YOU DIDN'T!

  [Garfield dashes into the kitchen, then furiously returns after discovering that all the lasagna has been eaten] 

  Nermal : Garfield. G-Garfield, now... now don't do anything we'll both regret. Especially me!

  [Garfield chases Nermal out of the house] 

• [Odie continues to mess up the sound effects as Garfield chases Nermal down the street] 

  Garfield : [to a policeman]  Sorry about the bad sound effects.

• [Garfield searches for Nermal in a zoo] 

  Garfield : He's around here somewhere. I wonder if Odie's still doing our sound effects.

  [a tiger tries to roar, but a ringing sound is heard instead] 

  Garfield : Yep. Odie is still doing our sound effects.

• Garfield : Odie, you're fired. Nermal, you're disgusting.

• Garfield : [while walking down an alley]  I haven't been down here for a while. I wonder if...

  [stops and sniffs around] 

  Garfield : Smells like a medium thin crust pizza with meatballs, black olives, and extra cheese.

  [Garfield runs off and approaches a warehouse] 

  Worker in glasses : Come on, will ya? We gotta get this shipment for Mexico loaded tonight!

  Worker : Hey, I'm eating a medium thin crust pizza with meatballs, black olives, and extra cheese.

  Garfield : Can I call 'em or what?

• Penelope : Hi, Garfield.

  Garfield : Hi, Penelope. How are you?

  Penelope : Starving.

  Garfield : I know how you feel. I haven't eaten since... Well, it's been a long ten minutes.

• Penelope : [Garfield gives her half of his pizza]  Gee, you even gave me a piece with a meatball on it.

  Garfield : [he and Penelope eat their pizza]  Well, I'm all heart. Speaking of meatballs, you still hanging around with Brick?

  Penelope : Brick's a nice guy. Sometimes.

  Garfield : Oh, come on.

  [Brick approaches Garfield from behind] 

  Garfield : Brick has muscles of steel and a head to match. He's so dumb...

  Brick : How... dumb... am I?

  Garfield : [turns around and bumps into Brick]  You're so dumb...

  Penelope : Garfield!

  Garfield : Uh... You... You're going to leave me alone and not harm a hair on my little body. Bye!

• Garfield : Jon must have taken Odie out for a walk. Or maybe the other way around.

• Garfield : [to Penelope]  Go find another guy, on another street or another show or something. Goodbye!

• Penelope : Don't you like me, Garfield?

  Garfield : No! I... I mean yes, but I... I like living more.

• Garfield : [to Penelope]  It's not that I don't like you. I just don't like you near me.

• Penelope : [sings]  Beautiful Garfield, you are my man. We have a wonderful wedding to plan. How I adore your lasagna breath...

  Garfield : Get out of here, or you might cause my death.

  [Garfield runs away] 

  Penelope : I think it's really cute when a guy plays hard to get.

• Garfield : [to the viewer, about Penelope]  I don't want to hurt her feelings, but sometimes... Well, you saw the position I was in. Anyway, there's other things in this world besides women, like breathing. I'd be a jerk to go after her.

  [walks off, then returns] 

  Garfield : Okay, so I'm a jerk.

• Garfield : Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to witness another Great Moment in Stupidity! Mine.

• Garfield : You take your hands off my girl!

  [Brick growls] 

  Garfield : Did I say that?

  [Penelope is smitten] 

  Brick : Cat, you're in big trouble.

  Garfield : Sure looks that way.

  [Garfield runs away and Brick chases after him] 

  Penelope : Brick, don't hurt him!

  Garfield : Yeah, Brick, don't hurt him!

  Brick : If I get my hands on you, you're a goner!

  Garfield : When the man's right, he's right. I have to do something.

• [Garfield hides inside a truck from the warehouse and Brick follows. Garfield sneaks out, the truck door closes, and the truck drives off to Mexico with Brick still inside] 

  Garfield : Hasta la vista, el Bricko! Send me a postcard from Acapulco!

• Penelope : Garfield, did you mean what you said about me being your girlfriend?

  Garfield : Ohhh... Let's have a snack and discuss it. What do you like on your pizza?

  Penelope : Everything except anchovies.

  Garfield : Ah, we're gonna get along just fine.